World of Pern
Latest Updates

2023/08/04 Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
2023/01/07 Welcome to the New Year! We are now ELEVEN years old! Thank you, all of you, for your love and writing! I am looking forward to spending another year with youall! In addition, a new Default colour scheme is in progress and will hopefully be available soon! All my love! ThistleProse
2022/07/29 Gold Malvayth and Bronze Xyxyth clutch is Hatching! Come and join the shenannigans 743.08.03 | NIGHT STALKERS HATCHING and bring the popcorn!
2022/05/11 Gold Malvayth has Flown, caught by Bronze Xyxyth of A'tay. Their Hatching will be PC, and take place in Telgar in August around the 20-22nd! Update your Candidate Applications and prepare for some fun!
2022/04/21 New default layout! I hope you enjoy it! If you find any bugs, please report them in the discord #bug-squishing channel!
05/JUL It’s Hatching time!! Come take part in the shenanigans here
30/JUN Gold Thallyath of Ista Weyr has laid a clutch! More information here
27/JUN A bluerider, and then a greenrider, are found dead. More information here
25/JUN The Touching is up! Take part here
30/MAY After the Touching, many Candidates found themselves preyed upon in the form of their food. More information here
18/MAY Another goldrider - Ameris of Benden - is attacked. More information here
05/MAY Multiple individuals are attacked whilest out of the Weyr! More information here
04/MAY Take a chance OOC and guess who you think the murderer is! You can win prizes! More information here
03/MAY Goldrider Cazan and her twin brother Cazelarias are attacked. More information here
24/APR Goldrider Ashara of Fort is murdered by two brownriders. More information here
12/APR Searchrider B’jin was attacked at Telgar Weyr, surffering a slash to his throat. While in Benden, bluerider B’dor is found dead in his weyr. More info here
05/APRMore attacks occurred today. More information here
03/APRMultiple individuals found their death this day; more information here and here
28/MAR Tragedy has struck again! Across all the Weyrs, multiple people - primarily dragonriders - have fallen ill after eating muffins. There have been multiple deaths, and others are in criticle condition. More information here
24/MAR Weyrwoman Ameris and her son, Rislan, poisoned! More information here
18/MAR Benden’s Weyrleader M’ris and his children have been poisoned! Resulting in sickness and death. More information here
18/MAROn 18.03.742 Bronzerider A’dris of Vyaniorth was found dead in his personal bathing pool. He appears to have drowned after drinking an excess of alcohol. Afterwards it was realized that Machiya of Gold Cameth from Telgar Weyr had disappeared. Having never arrived at her destination, it is suspected she had an accident between.
11/MAR Gold Racoth of Donmaline went between taking Bronze Beruth of T’rel with her shortly after she had been caught, due to T’rel strangling Donmaline. He did not survive. more info
25/FEB Congratulations and thank-you to Guest for taking on a moderator role! <3
14/FEB Stars Above PC Hatching Link
06/JAN :o new layout is a WiP. Please report bugs in Discord.
01/JAN Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!




Currently: Spring 03.745 al
Monthly Event
2024-February
Details: Link

Welcome to the Month of Lovetm! This month's Monthly Event is all about Romance, whether it is asking someone out on a date, or getting sweaty between the sheets! Anything and everything counts, if it even looks sideways like it could be related to Valentine Day -- including lover's spats, or breaking up, Flights Wins (or Flight Losses!). Honestly, this month has a huge opportunity for interpertation, so go wild!



2023-December
Details: Link

Ahh, the fresh snow, the crisp air, the naked trees... welcome to Winter! Or, just the Colder Months for those in the more Northern Weyrs, while Ista is just... not as hot. But it is time to enjoy the end of the Turn, so folks should get together, spend some time gossiping, and drinking Hot Chocolate (alcohol and marshmallows opional)... does Pern even have marshmallows????? (they do now!)



2023-November
Details: Link

Feel like bitching? Wanna take part in a brawl? Or bet on someone? Take part in Brawls and Bitching this month! Boo-yeah!



2023-October
Details: Link

Thistle flunked this month; You can still post until the end of November as a result <3
Experience, tell or hide from a Spooky Story!



2023-September
Details: Link

The flu is running rampant, colds are clogging noses, and someone might have lost a limb?



2023-August
Details: Link

Partake this month by going fishing... or anything that occurs while fishing, or dealing with fish!



Latest Posts



To be Clean! [R'nd]

B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#1
It was well after dark by the time B'jin had managed to stumble away from the location of his unintended flight with D'hys, and all the way back to the Weyr proper. The greenrider was clothed, but miserable, as he skirted the outside of the main buildings and slunk his way towards the bathhouse. D'hys had been particulary courteous, and over all B'jin was not displeased with the bluerider's attention; he wasn't hurt or suffering visible marks, his clothing was almost entierly in one piece, and while he had tried to put his shoes on the wrong feet in the beginning (he had been woozy still!) they were on the correct feet now.

As he entered the main population, B'jin detoured to the Weyrling Barracks, and nipped into his own room. While rarely used, particularly now that the Weyrlings were out and about and had their own huts, it did still claim most of B'jin's items (honestly, it was simply the majority that hadn't managed to get left at R'nd's yet) and he gathered up some fresh clothes, before slipping back out. He nodded to one of the more recent weyrlings as he passed the boy, before making it outside and beelining for the bathhouse. A bath was needed, desperately, before B'jin would sulk his way over to R'nd's and curl up to sulk more until the bluerider he adored came home.

Slipping inside the main entrance, B'jin stepped aside for a pair that were leaving, and then ducked into an emptied room. Steam was still clotted around the roof, and lingering in the corners. The floor was wet; the pair had likely just abandoned it, since none of the women assigned to cleaning had made it in yet. Clearly. B'jin dumped his things on a dry bench top and then kicked the messed clothing and towels out the door, and then shut it firmly. He slid the lock across so no one could join him, and shimmied out of his clothing as he walked towards the bath tub, toppling in it with very little grace.

Thanks to the water system the Katilans used, the bath was both hot and clean and B'jin sank down under the water, keeping just barely enough of his face above to stay alive. Luckily, the flight with D'hys wasn't quite bad enough to make him feel like drowning himself would be a good idea. It was not R'nd, though, and so the grimy feeling needed to be scrubbed off, and the scent of the other bluerider washed away. He felt so dirty! Nose scrunching up, B'jin moved to stand, twisting around in the process and then froze dramatically when he saw a blue firelizard perched on the edge of the tub, staring at him. B'jin pulled his knees up without thinking.

"Rell," the name was spoken mildly with only a hint of disproval as he stared back at the firelizard. Was the firelizard looking for him for R'nd, or was he supposed to follow the little flitter to his lover? B'jin's lips pursed slightly and he flicked water on the firelizard's nose. "He can come here." Whether or not that was the intetnion mattered not to B'jin; he wasn't getting out until he'd scrubbed off at least three layers of skin. If R'nd wanted to help, all the better. The door was still locked though. B'jin turned to frown at it for a moment, then looked back to see the firelizard was gone. B'jin huffed a sigh and scrambled out of the bath, wrapping his unclean shirt around his waist as he trudged to the door; he wasn't going to sully a perfectly clean towel with his not-yet-scrubbed self!

B'jin opened the door just slightly, and poked his nose out, water dripping off his face as he peered down the hall suspiciously until he spotted R'nd. Brown eyes lit up, but he didn't quite smile.

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R'nd
of Blue Ayyonth

Date of Birth
09.11.703, 41
Height
6'2
Eyes
Grey
Build
Fit
Hair
Blonde, shaggy

Threads
27
Posts
579

Written By: SunsetWay
#2
The day was supposed to be much nicer than it had ended up being. R’nd wanted to say he didn’t know where it had gone wrong but he knew all too well when and where. He had been down at the beach, preparing for an afternoon with B’jin, Benden, Amorandii, and even Indamor if he was agreeable at the lake when the world fell apart around him again.

So much anger had flashed through him when Ayyonth bellowed at the sight of Zeianth chasing Larrikith. R’nd still wasn’t sure how much of it was Ayyonth’s own emotions and how much were his own. The typical flight lust was there for barely even a minute before the dragon of ice caught the dragon of moss. It left R’nd stumbling several steps as he tried to shake off the flurry of emotions as he tried to make it across the sand to where his dragon had landed.

R’nd didn’t have any words for Ayyonth. They were both at fault with how they hadn’t noticed the changes in B’jin or Larrikith to show the impending flight. Usually they were spot on with when it would happen and R’nd had thought it would be another day or two, not right then! Zeianth… Ayyonth trembled with his uncharacteristic fury and R’nd quietly hugged the blue around his neck, trying to console each other after such a horrible loss. But then it dawned on R’nd that it was Zeianth and that meant, “D’hys!”

As soon as R’nd let go of Ayyonth, the dragon took off and winked between to go sulk at the hut. R’nd didn’t care, he had a greenrider to find and keep safe from D’hys! He ran into the forest in the direction of the Weyr, convinced if Larrikith had been flying that close to the lake, then his lover was in the forest somewhere, likely along the edge of the river.

He followed the river for several hours before Ayyonth finally returned to collect his pathetic and tiring rider. An extremely pouty R’nd gave in and allowed himself to be taken the rest of the way home, hoping B’jin had made it back to the hut or his room at the Barracks. When no sign of B’jin was found at either location, R’nd finally remembered he had a firelizard that had been appearing at random all evening to soothe him. As he made the trek to the bathhouse, R’nd kept sending an image of B’jin to Rell until the flitter took off and started searching each room for him. It saved him so much trouble and time. Why hadn’t he thought of it hours ago?

When Rell returned, chirping happily at finding the greenrider and that he looked okay, R’nd smiled and waited to see if B’jin would peek his head out. When he did, a sigh of relief and longing escaped and R’nd nearly ran down the hall. As soon as he had maneuvered his way into the room and shut the door behind him, R’nd was hugging B’jin, uncaring about his clothing getting wet, and quickly babbling apologies left and right. “I’m sorry, B’jin! I wasn’t paying enough attention and didn’t know she would rise today. Please don’t hate me! Are you okay? I saw Zeianth and worried and ran through the forest all evening to find you and make sure D’hys hadn’t harmed you. I’m sorry!”

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B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#3
The greenrider moved carefully out of the way, allowing his lover into the small bathing room he had claimed without a word. Brown eyes had glued onto R'nd the moment the bluerider had been spotted, and he hadn't looked away for fear he would vanish; he needed R'nd - as a friend, as a lover, as someone he trusted. "I'm okay," B'jin whispered softly as he clung to R'nd, his voice and lip trembling as he listened to the bluerider babble, both confused and reassured by the words. He didn't actively think that R'nd would avoid him and one of Larrikith's flights, but hearing that the bluerider hadn't and was worried B'jin would hate him for missing one washed away the spine chilling fear before it could grow to being acknowledged.

"I'm sorry," and he was! If he were able to keep track of Larrikith's pattern, or if he got proddy (B'jin still whole heartedly convinced he'd never been proddy a day in his life) or - something! - then he would have been able to know when he had to be with R'nd... but... wouldn't doing that frighten the bluerider off? Would he feel smothered by such attentions? B'jin didn't want him to feel smothered, or guilted, or that he was expected to not only enter, but win, every time Larrikith flew. Granted, the little green didn't fly as often as some of her sisters, but she still flew regularly enough that B'jin had no trouble imagining the bluerider getting sick of him if he was forced into every flight that occurred.

He lifted his face reluctantly from the bluerider's neck, still clinging to his lover; the shirt he had had wrapped around his hips being held up purely because he was pressed close to the other man. "Don't be sorry... I didn't realise she was due." Shame, hot and pure and it coloured B'jin's cheeks as he dropped his gaze. He was a terrible person, and an even worse dragonrider. He had never been able to keep tabs on when Larrikith was due and had always been too lazy to make records of her previous flights in order to assit with figuring it out. Not that it would have mattered much, when Larrikith went out of her way to be as unpredictable as possible.

Lifting up slightly, B'jin kissed R'nd lightly, and clung to him tightly for a moment. "He didn't hurt me," he promised, pulling away just slightly so he could study R'nd's face in clear confusion, the emotion fogging up his eyes. "He was... nice." B'jin dropped his gaze again, confused. He didn't understand why D'hys had been nice to him, after threatening him not to screw with blueriders and he had collected all his clothes up for him so B'jin wouldn't have to run around naked to find them and he'd let him go without any quips or looks and B'jin appreciated that! "... I got you wet," B'jin murmured softly, frowning almost sadly at the wet patches on R'nd's clothing from where he'd gotten water on him. "Sorry, love."

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R'nd
of Blue Ayyonth

Date of Birth
09.11.703, 41
Height
6'2
Eyes
Grey
Build
Fit
Hair
Blonde, shaggy

Threads
27
Posts
579

Written By: SunsetWay
#4
R’nd had been content to stand there all night holding B’jin to him, reassuring himself that the greenrider was safe and sound. He almost pouted when B’jin stirred, as if he wanted to pull away, but smiled when a light kiss was given and the clinging returned. The quiet moment together was needed and R’nd would have let it go on a while longer before he started another round of apologising for being a horrible friend and lover to miss out on a flight when they both seemed to like winning together but B’jin spoke before that could happen.

D’hys was nice? Those two words didn’t go together. It didn’t matter what his friends said, R’nd never fully trusted his fellow bluerider. Something was off about the man and it drove R’nd insane trying to figure out what it was. He was hard to read unless he wanted to be read and R’nd was certain what he wanted seen was never the truth. Such a man was never that honest in the face! It was hard to explain to others though and he never had any real evidence so besides dropping casual warnings with his misgivings, R’nd never did anything else about the man. Considering B’jin hadn’t been left beaten, bloody, and about to drown in a bath, there was no other choice but to believe that D’hys had been nice when compared to S’kef.

“I’m glad he was… nice.” Even with that comparison, R’nd was still having a hard time believing D’hys had been nice. He wanted to say all men were nice when they were after something or say that in comparison to other people could list, D’hys was a gentleman, but he held his tongue. It was probably the brief flash of flight lust combined with the failure and anger that was making him extra bitter. It wasn’t like Ayyonth had caught Larrikith in all of her flights since their first win so he didn’t have room to be so cranky. Although, R’nd was willing to concede that perhaps there was some jealousy there. What they did away from each other was their own time and R’nd was fine with that but knowing about B’jin with another man – and it seemed to usually be men he didn’t like or trust – in a flight didn’t sit well with the young bluerider.

Thankfully, B’jin subject hopped remarkably fast and saved R’nd from further thinking about D’hys or having to discuss the man’s kindness. “My clothes were in need of a wash anyway,” he chuckled and shook his head lightly to forestall any other protest about his poor clothing. They went through so much in his relationship with B’jin! “Besides, if you’re getting me wet, that means you’re in one of my favourite states of dressing for you.” A devilish grin accompanied the words and R’nd took B’jin’s hand in his and led him back over to the bath.

“All the same, give me a moment,” R’nd set to stripping off his clothing and tossing each article over to the bench. He didn’t care if they were folded or if they landed in a dry spot or a puddle. B’jin had planned ahead for changing into fresh clothes after a planned bath, R’nd, however, hadn’t thought anything about it. He’d walked home in a towel before so doing so again that night wouldn’t be a shock to anyone.

Once everything was removed, R’nd slipped into the hot water and gave a content sigh and moan. Baths seemed to make everything better.

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B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#5
B'jin frowned slightly at R'nd's reluctant acceptance of his word choice for D'hys' company, the greenrider shifting his weigh slightly, uncomfortable. Dense as he could be, B'jin had early been trained how to recognise the subtle levels of well hidden jealousy, and he cringed slightly when R'nd latched onto the change in subject, the soft laugh startling him. He'd been on the tip of apologising again, though turns with N'mall had taught him that that rarely prevented reactions from a jealous lover, but the change in topic changed smoothly and B'jin let his need to apologise slide by, leaving it unsaid.

The greenrider followed R'nd meekly when he took his hand, the smile at R'nd's teasing was luckluster and didn't reach his eyes. B'jin was not upset with R'nd, at all, rather he was extremely upset with himself. He hadn't know Larrikith was going to fly, when he should have! Didn't he just spend lessons not so long ago directing the young greenriders on how to tell when their dragonw as coming into heat? Instructing the young men riding the blues and browns what to look for in the green companions? How could he be so shamefully incapable of determining when Larrikith was due to rise, after over thirty years of being bonded to the girl? Then, to top it all off, he'd made R'nd feel bad and gotten water all over his clothing.

B'jin watched R'nd strip and slip into the bath water, too busy sulking in a wallow of self pity to enjoy the view. Sad brown eyes watched the younger man sigh in contentment and B'jin found himself battling the incredibly overwhelming desire to flee the bathroom. What did someone like R'nd want or need with him, anyway? All he did was get him in trouble, or cause trouble, or make a mess of things for him and the bluerider could do so much better! There were far more interesting and exciting people in the Weyr willing to spend their time with him. B'jin didn't deserve to be in his presence, never mind calling himself a friend or a lover. The greenrider's shoulders drooped and his lip trembeld slightly, but he obeyed the soft nudge from Larrikith to drop the shirt he was still hiding in, and quietly slip into the water.

"I'm sorry." The barely whispered words reeked of unshed tears as B'jin stood pitifully by the other edge of the bath. With his arms wrapped around himself, and his chin dropped to his chest, the wet strands of his hair hung around his face in sad little strings. Why was he so amazingly good at being so terribly awful? B'jin's lip trembled more as he stood, visibly swaying with indecision, before finally making a move. The few required steps were taken in order to reach his friend, and B'jin set pitiful eyes on the man until he got what he wanted - wrapped up in a hug - and he burried his face in the crook of R'nd's neck.

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R'nd
of Blue Ayyonth

Date of Birth
09.11.703, 41
Height
6'2
Eyes
Grey
Build
Fit
Hair
Blonde, shaggy

Threads
27
Posts
579

Written By: SunsetWay
#6
“Stop that. I hate upsetting you so much. There’s nothing to be sorry for, love,” R’nd whispered the reassurance as he held B’jin close, a hand lightly rubbing his friend’s back. The day hadn’t gone as planned for either of them and while R’nd hated that D’hys won and he managed to convince B’jin he was a nice man, R’nd didn’t think there was anything B’jin had to be sorry about. If anything, he still believed he was at fault for not noticing Larrikith was about to rise when he had been so observant of such a thing so regularly before. Even Ayyonth didn’t seem to realize until it was too late. It was frustrating and he felt like he had let down a friend but R’nd was willing to let the entire subject vanish into the night and forget about it entirely if B’jin would do the same.

“How about, I’ll agree you’re at fault and should be sorry if you agree I’m also at fault and need to apologise more?” R’nd smiled with his silly idea though it went unnoticed thanks to how he still held B’jin in a warm – yet always loose – embrace as he tried to soothe his friend and keep him from further panic. R’nd could be rather oblivious to many things but he had a sharp eye and mind for others and knew they often went around in circles because they would only blame themselves and not the other regardless of whose fault it was. Although R’nd did still maintain he was at fault for being a horrible lover that was blind to obvious signs and leaving B’jin to the mercy of D’hys.

“It’s over with, love. And why worry about a flight when we have all night to be together with clear minds?” Flights with B’jin were wonderful and R’nd loved coming to beside the greenrider. He still received the same thrill he did with the first time it happened and R’nd couldn’t believe how lucky he was to win more than once and have B’jin as such a regular constant in his life when the greenrider had once been only a wish. “You, me, a bath, and later our bed.” R’nd coaxed B’jin out from hiding in the crook of his arm and once again missed the possessive adjective turning his bed into their bed.

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B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#7
B'jin flinched unintentionally against R'nd when the bluerider issued an uncommon order, the greenrider trying valiantly not to continue cringing as his lover spoke, though he was very slow to relax. The light and gentle touch as R'nd rubbed his back was soothing though B'jin twitched several times in the beginning, expecting a harsher touch, though he honestly knew R'nd wouldn't do that to him - at least, he'd never pushed him to such measures, and while B'jin was hesitant to belive R'nd would never hit him, he did believe it would take a great deal in order to push his lover over such a line. B'jin hoped he never found that line, and he desperately hoped he never accidentally crossed it. He couldn't imagine what it would take to set off R'nd, but he would hate to see such a day come to pass.

The greenrider cuddled closer, warpping his arms gently around R'nd and burying his face against his lover's neck. He didn't know how he'd come to deserve such a wonderful lover, or why, but  he did know that theh day he lost it would be a truly terrible one. Times such as the ones he was currently in, as he cuddled closer to the bluerider with soft sigh, made him all the more aware that such a time might someday come. He hated feeling as if he'd let R'nd down, and himself. His inability to determine Larrikith's flights had never been a bad thing for B'jin, but rather something to enjoy. No one had ever known when she'd fly, or who would capture her, and it had been a bit of a game, and something fun. Now it was something he needed a schedule for, and he needed to be around one person when it happened. After the better part of thirty years just handwaving and worrying about it when it happened, B'jin didn't know how to handle needing to know things.

After D'hys had let him leave, and B'jin had been stumbling his way back to the bath house, B'jin had decided that well, perhaps that flight wasn't all that bad. He was whole, and had no real bruises, and certainly no broken bones. He had been allowed to leave, and D'hys had even collected his clothes up for him and turned his back so B'jin could dress. He'd been polite, albeit slightly scary at times, and B'jin had felt that R'nd would agree - it could have been worse, and maybe D'hys wasn't as bad as his lover thought the man to be. That R'nd was so clearly upset about the events clearly pointed out to B'jin how wrong he was, and his shoulders slmped as he was consumed by the guilt of letting his lover down.

"But..." B'jin's voice trailed off as R'nd made his offer, and the greenrier's shoulders sagged further, sturggling a little away from R'nd so he could speak without his voice being muffled by R'nd's shoulder. "You're not at fault." He wasn't even saying it because he thought it was what R'nd would like or needed to hear; he legitimately meant it and B'jin sulked quietly as he gave a sad little nod. It was all over, and there wasn't all that much point in arguing back and forth about who was at fault. Now that R'nd had brought it to light, B'jin could see how neither of them would rest until they were sure they were the one at fault, though neither of them would feel good about being blamed by their lover, either. Simpler to just quietly wallow in it and know it was his own fault and- B'jin stiffened like a board, brown eyes widening in terror.

He didn't say anything, standing frozen in place and time, before flinching viciously when the bluerider twitched, as if he were expecting a heavy blow to land. Larrikith's furious screech echoed as she landed on the roof with a thump, answered by a bellow from across the weyr. WHAT ARE YO- her furious scream cut off mid word as she realised who was standing with her rider, and confusion flared through the blood curdling outrage that had assulted R'nd. Memories. Larrikith spat the word with disgust, though it wasn't aimed at either of the men; You reminded him, her voice was feathery soft as she spoke to R'nd, He does not fear you; he fears what was. The little green heistated for a moment, before filtering B'jin's memories over to R'nd.

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R'nd
of Blue Ayyonth

Date of Birth
09.11.703, 41
Height
6'2
Eyes
Grey
Build
Fit
Hair
Blonde, shaggy

Threads
27
Posts
579

Written By: SunsetWay
#8
Larrikith knew how to make a scene; R’nd would always give the feisty green that much. She currently had him backed away from B’jin, his back pressed to the wall of the tub and grey eyes as wide as they could get as he stared between the greenrider and the roof where he knew the dragon sat waiting to devour him. She would surely come crashing through the ceiling at any moment to sit on him or eat him slowly, limb by limb. He was being so careful! He didn’t think he had hurt B’jin or cornered him and his words were meant to be caring and flirty. What had he done to upset Larrikith so much and make B’jin afraid of him?

The flood of memories ended up being worse than anything he could have imagined. R’nd had heard Larrikith’s explanation that he wasn’t feared but the past was feared though it didn’t matter. R’nd’s own fears of ruining everything he touched and hurting those he loved wandered back into his life as reality crashed around him. He had finally done it; he had hurt B’jin and destroyed everything they had together.

“I’m not him,” R’nd barely choked out the words as tears started to well up and he scrambled out of the tub to sit on his knees, “I wouldn’t… I didn’t mean… I… I…” with a blink of the eyes, the tears were set free down his cheeks and R’nd was left with a wavering watery image of B’jin before him. He only meant he loved being with B’jin! He loved knowing what they did together so he could have the memories for when… well, when now happened. When everything ended and he was alone again.

“I’m sorry, B’jin,” R’nd didn’t care that his voice cracked as he said his friend’s – ex-friend’s?—name. He was lost in self-pity and fear. How could he have been so careless after trying so hard to be perfect for B’jin and never upsetting the man or even asking questions that were off limits? “I only… I…” R’nd didn’t even know what he was trying to say anymore. He wanted B’jin to believe he’d never be harmed, talked down to, yelled at, or hated. How could he express any of that though? Maybe he really wasn’t any better than N’mall. Maybe B’jin really did deserve someone better. R’nd always knew B’jin would wake up and realize that but lately, the bluerider had fooled himself into thinking everything would be okay and maybe he did have a chance with the man he had thought was amazing and perfect for so long.

Pushing to his feet, R’nd wiped at his tears but lost any courage he had for a few brief moments. He couldn’t go near B’jin. It would be seen as an act of dominance and send B’jin spiralling deeper into his memories R’nd wished didn’t exist. How could anyone treat another human like N’mall, S’kef, and so many others seemed to get off on doing? “I… please, B’jin don’t think I’m like him,” again R’nd’s voice shook with the emotion he didn’t know what to do with as a stumbling step was taken forward before two were taken back. He didn’t even know which way to run! He wanted B’jin but wanted to escape as well. He’d only hurt B’jin somehow if he stayed.

“Please…” In the end, R’nd crumbled back to the ground and stared pitifully at B’jin as words he never thought he’d say came out on their own and didn’t shock him. “I love you, B’jin. I…” R’nd gave up on trying to explain himself with a sigh and dropped his gaze to the floor before him. It wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if he didn’t watch B’jin leave him.

Ayyonth stayed quiet during it all. He wanted to storm the building like Larrikith when R’nd’s emotions shot in every direction but he held his position. He was still angry over the flight himself and didn’t want to see Larrikith just yet but R’nd needed to sort things out himself. Ayyonth was proud, however, when the confession came to light though he really didn’t expect either man to have truly grasped the meaning or even hear it. They were two of the most frustrating humans ever but Ayyonth was glad one of them was his.

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B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#9
B'jin was trembling from head to foot as he looked up, the fog slowly fading from his eyes, clearing out the murky look that had taken over the clear, warm brown. There were tears on a bloodless face, eyebrows furrowed together with honest worry as he struggled to move, almost toppling over in the process; instead, B'jin sent up a flurry of motion waves as he tripped over his own feet and almost face planted into the water. He gripped the closest side with clinging fingers, staring up at R'nd without acknowledging his own flailing, brown eyes steady and serious and full of confusion. "I-" he paused, clearing his throat softly when his voice came out as nothing more than a wispy squeak. "I know," it was still nothing more than a whisper, but at least the squeaking was gone, voice more husky with the tears and worry. He should have been shocked to hear R'nd say he loved him, but he wasn't. He did know.

Seeing R'nd so broken up was terrifying in a way that was entierly different from the emotion brought about by the onslaught of memories that Larrikith was dedicatedly brushing away. The little green dragon working overtime to help B'jin shove all the unwanted and terrible things back into the heavy boxes they had been kept in. Like her human, Larrikith was trembling where she was perched on the roof of the bathing house, though her's was founded by fury. For a moment - a few moments! - she had been so sure B'jin's memories were reality, as sure as he was, that she had been prepared to start tearing apart the bathing house itself in order to get to B'jin before he was hurt too much. Her reaction to it being R'nd, her sharing the memories - B'jin would not approve of that, and Larrikith was working doubletime to keep that from the man she had chosen so long ago. She didn't want to fight with him, not right then.

B'jin took a deep breath in, and held it for several moments before letting it out in an incredibly shaky sigh. He began moving, his steps careful and timid, towards R'nd. Serious eyes never left the face of his lover, expression caught somewhere now between surprise and curiosity. He'd never turly seen R'nd upset, and while B'jin felt quite sure that he'd been the cause of it, he didn't understand how he had caused it. To B'jin, the memories had been a lifetime, and barely a moment, and he chose to write them off as a flash of seconds, something that only he had seen and been aware of. He didn't pick up on the way Larrikith was trembling and fighting to keep her own emotions away from him and under control. He simply didn't realise it had been more than a split second response to his bluerider's invitation.

"R'nd?" B'jin's voice was timid, and confused as he inched up to where R'nd was sitting. His trembling was fading away as he stopped before R'nd, and he reached out very gently to brush his fingers over his lover's knee; he wasn't quite courageous enough to reach and brush the hair out of R'nd's face. "Love?" there was a soft desperation to B'jin's voice as he peered up at R'nd, heart breaking at seeing his lover - always so sure and strong! - looking so broken. "Please don't cry." Removing his fingers from R'nd's knee, B'jin pressed both palms firmly to the side of the tub and rose out of the water, sitting on the edge before curling his legs up under himself, and reached for one of R'nd's hands, carefully twining his fingers through his lovers. He kept his gaze on their fingers, his voice a soft murmur.

"I love you, too."

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R'nd
of Blue Ayyonth

Date of Birth
09.11.703, 41
Height
6'2
Eyes
Grey
Build
Fit
Hair
Blonde, shaggy

Threads
27
Posts
579

Written By: SunsetWay
#10
How many times now had he stared at the way their hands fit so well together? How many times now had he decided B’jin’s hand was made to fit his so perfectly? Yet even with those thoughts happening every single time he looked at their fingers twined together, R’nd never got tired of seeing them that way or marvelling at them. B’jin’s simple gesture of taking his hand was what calmed R’nd down and brought him back from his fear of ruining the best thing he’d ever had while he waited for the greenrider to finally leave and keep the space between them as large as possible.

A light squeeze was given to the hand in his, a sign that he saw B’jin’s kindness and concern and was trying to register the words. It was odd; he hadn’t known he was crying until it was pointed out that he should stop. Looking back, R’nd realized it was true; he had been crying. The watery vision wasn’t from the bath nor was the way he had wiped at his cheeks simply because of a random itch. He had been brought to tears both because he was afraid of losing B’jin forever but because of the memories Larrikith had shown. R’nd couldn’t believe someone could be so horrible but how could B’jin have put up with so much and still come out as wonderful as he was? It was heartbreaking and R’nd didn’t know how to deal with any of it.

“I’m glad,” R’nd whispered, eyes still glued to the hands locked together, “so glad.” Hearing B’jin’s murmured statement brought back his own memories of when the greenrider casually stated it before and the way it had been received. R’nd had nearly shut down entirely at the time and had since pretended it never happened. B’jin seemed content to do the same and they went on existing as they always did. Now, it was reassuring to hear he was loved and even more so that B’jin didn’t run away or drop dead before him from shock or some curse R’nd believed his words would place on the one that got them out of him.

He wasn’t one to dwell on thoughts that made him uncomfortable or emotions he didn’t understand but as he brought their hands to his lips so a kiss could be placed softly on one of B’jin’s knuckles, R’nd realized something. He had always loved the man before him. No, not always. It had definitely been a crush and lust in the earlier turns of his life but the last turn or so, R’nd knew the feelings had changed, deepened, and now he had a label for it. Love. It was strange yet wonderful. Knowing B’jin accepted his confession and feelings as love as well made R’nd relax and feel like he had identified everything properly in the end.

“I’m sorry, B’jin,” the words were heavy with guilt and tinged with tiredness. So many emotions that day! R’nd was left completely drained and still unsure how to explain anything. He wished he had known about the flight so they could enjoy it together and B’jin wouldn’t have been subjected to D’hys. He wished he was a better person that could be everything B’jin needed and wanted. He wished he had been braver and approached B’jin so much sooner and possibly saved him some of the pain at N’mall’s hands. Everything was in the past now and it wasn’t like he could change any of it. All he had was that moment and making sure his friend was fine.

“I only wanted to spend time with you in mental clarity. I didn’t mean to bring back memories.” He knew better, that was the worst part. R’nd didn’t know what would trigger B’jin’s trips to the past but he knew they could happen and had been so careful with what he said and did. The greenrider had been through so much in his life, things R’nd couldn’t even begin to grasp thanks to his vastly different life, and they were prone to pop up at times. How could he be the shield that guarded against such things when he caused them as often as not?

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B'jin
of Green Larrikith

Date of Birth
23.06.683 AL, 61
Height
5'9
Eyes
Brown
Build
Sturdy, softly fit
Hair
Blonde, Silver

Threads
102
Posts
864

Written By: ThistleProse
#11
B'jin offered a gentle smile as R'nd gave his hand a light squeeze, gaze lifting to watch his lover's face though the other man was still staring at their hands. B'jin had forgotten all about the time he'd first said those words, and was never with it enough in other moments to recall such times (such as during flightlust), when he'd told the bluerider how he felt since then. It didn't change how he felt, and while there had been times he'd consciously bit his tongue to avoid saying it, lest he spook R'nd, B'jin would have been surprised to learn he'd told R'nd before, and probably slightly alaramed by R'nd's reaction. It wasn't that B'jin had a bad memory - it worked perfectly, clearly - but rather that he simply chose not to recall or remember things that struck him as 'wrong' at the time they were created. Having his lover react negatively to a love confession was hardly something B'jin would enjoy dwelling on, so he put it away and forgot about it.

B'jin frowned at the apology, thumb brushing lightly over the back of R'nd's knuckles as he watched his lover sadly. The immediate assumption of the greenrider - that his bluerider was apologising for his feelings - was depressing, but like with all things, something B'jin was entierly willing to put aside and ignore if that was what R'nd would find most comfortable. It was still heartbreaking, and B'jin's pout while in no way theatrical, was clearly upset with such a manner of handling things. He had no idea what being loved by R'nd would entail - but he was quite sure it was a good thing. N'mall had loved him, of that B'jin was sure, but his relationship with the brownrider had been so different from the things his relationship thus far with R'nd, that B'jin had no idea what would come of it now. It was odd, and exciting, and scary! Curiosity wriggled around the edges of the greenriders emotions, something that flared happily when R'nd clarified what he was apologisng for.

The sudden realisation that the bluerider wasn't sorry for his emotions, but rather for the memories his words had brought up was such a relief to B'jin that he didn't manage to keep the soft laugh it startled from him from escaping. Leaning forward, B'jin placed a light kiss on R'nd's nose. "I know, dear." And he did! R'nd was not the type to go out of his way to poke at wounds, and B'jin knew that Larrikith would not put up with such antics; besides, she genuinely liked and enjoyed R'nd's company, something for which B'jin was very thankful. It had been ever so difficult with her hatred of N'mall, even before things started to get rocky between himself and the brownrider. B'jin was pretty sure Larrikith's disdane for the man and his dragon hadn't helped things. If she'd been able to get along with the other dragon as well as she got along with Ayyonth, than perhaps he would still be happily curled up with him. Instead, he was smiling gently at R'nd. B'jin was loathe to compare the two men, but he couldn't say he was at all unhappy with R'nd!

"No more apologies!" B'jin, buoyant on R'nd's confession and the younger man's apparent desire to let it be acknowledged and not put aside or hidden or ignored, almost sung his little sentence, though his voice was kept at a low murmur; his voice was still slightly husky from the scramble emotions. Smiling gently at R'nd, B'jin slipped back into the tub and tugged gently on his lover's hand, watching placidly albeit with a more bright light to his face, and a small smile on his lips was almost mischevious, though didn't quite pass that line. Stepping into his lover's space, B'jin wrapped his arms gently around the bluerider, hugging him for several moments. "Time to relax," he murmured, stepping away from R'nd and slipping behind him, hands light over the bluerider's back as he brushed his fingers lightly. He paused for a second, one hand leaving R'nd's back to snatch up a handful of scented soap-sand, before returning with gentle touch.

The scent of lavender filled the air as B'jin lathered the little crystals into frothy bubbles, and smeared them across his friend's back.

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