Time Off [B'jin]

Talian missed B'jin. A lot had happened lately, and while Talian was physically sound (the shoulder had healed quickly and was little more than sore), he was mentally strained. The last nine days had been a roller coaster of ups and downs. It started with a dragon trying to destroy the hall and ended with a horrific public humiliation, though mercifully nothing had yet come of the supposed suspicion.

Valerian was a wonderful help, and Tal knew B'jin had his own things to worry about, with his friend the Weyrleader being hospitalized. That didn't mean Tal didn't miss B'jin, though. The healer wanted badly to seek his father's comfort in those first few days, but his instincts to curl up and be alone were just as strong. In the end, he talked himself out of seeking B'jin, convinced that the greenrider had better things to do and was probably trying his best to pretend all this horrific nonsense wasn't going on.  Tal wasn't so foolish as to assume B'jin didn't care, but he wouldn't be surprised if his father was in denial.

Nine days seemed like a safe benchmark, though. Tal had arranged quietly to meet the greenrider for lunch. He was eager to see B'jin, but at the same time, he wasn't thrilled for B'jin to see him in his current state. Talian was both stretched thin from lack of sleep and near-manic with boredom and paranoia. He had comically large bags under his eyes and his fingers twitched far worse than usual as he dove into his second mug of klah, content to wait for B'jin to arrive. He had klah!

Fellis sat lightly on Tal's shoulder, eyeing the liquid with curiosity. Talian was pleased with his little friend's progress. Fellis was not exactly comfortable in large crowds, but he no longer made a point of hiding in Talian's clothes every time! Tal smiled at rubbed the little creature's chin. "B'jin will be here soon. You need to be on your best behavior, okay?" Talian didn't understand B'jin's hatred of fire lizards, but he didn't question it. B'jin had clearly not understood Talian's former hatred of dragons, so he supposed turnabout was fair play. B'jin didn't have to like fire lizards! Tal was just happy that B'jin was willing to play nice with Fellis, whom Talian had come to adore so very much.

It gave the young man peace of mind, considering what was coming up soon. That gold dragon was getting awfully fat... But at least that was something to worry about outside of his other troubles.

What a clusterfuck. It was almost funny. It would be okay, though. In theory. Hopefully.

B'jin would be a great help; he made the worst situations seem livable. Talian was looking forward to seeing him. He just hoped that his father was weathering the storm as (relatively) well as he was. Tal had been worried. Poor B'jin had been through so much!

B’jin had heard the saying ‘life’s a bitch, and then you die,’ well, he was wondering when the whole dying part was going to kick in because life in general was being a real cunt. The greenrider had been left alone, for the most part, but he was unhappy and pretending otherwise was beginning to wear him thin. B’jin had always been good at pretending that nothing was wrong, but it wasn’t something he necessarily found easy; it was even more depressing when he saw the same look he was wearing reflected on R’nd’s face on the evenings they spent together.

His candidacy classes had been fine, for the most part… The flying lesson had been interesting, to say the least, with candidates and dragonriders eyeing each other off, but it was nothing on the sexuality class B’jin had held; most of the girls who were known goldrider candidates had been excused, but B’jin had been both blunt and crass when he expelled one youngster from his candidacy class; true love did not belong in a Weyr, and certainly wouldn’t be found in a Faranth be-damned flight!  But it was the following class, four days after the attempt on D’ren’s life that Indivara’s smart mouthed comment about had earned her a double load of homework and a slap over the back of the head from Kerrin.

Unfortunately the action had only escalated the situation, with Indivara throwing herself bodily at the young man and sending the pair flying in a brawl while their firelizards shriek and screamed and scratched at anyone that tried to interfere. B’jin was pretty sure the horrible little creatures were cheering on their bonded’s. Larrikith’s laughter hadn’t helped to cure the greenrider of that particular suspicion and in the end he’d ended up getting one of the scarier looking candidates to pick Indivara up by the scruff while he had grabbed Kerrin by the arm and scolded the pair of them with far more ferocity than he would have if he weren’t stressed and stretched thin.

After that, B’jin had sent the class scattering with a dark glower, and had Larrikith make sure the children stayed with their mother’s while he stalked out to find his dragon. The little green and her rider had gone for a long, peaceful flight that had ended somewhere in the forest, B’jin resisting the temptation to drown himself in one of the pretty little springs Larrikith was so fond of and trying to find a more pleasant temperament so he could seek out his lover without worrying he’d bite the poor man’s head off. The thought that Kerrin had probably gone running to him to bitch about what a horrible person he was only spiked the greenrider’s bad mood all over again and Larrikith had sighed where she’d been rolling on a beach of rounded pebbles.

The twenty-third had dawned with B’jin still in a sour mood, stressed and worried by what S’kef was doing and how the hunt for D’ren’s (attempted) killer was being handled though he was too intimidated by the happy-to-point fingers of most of the people who had invested themselves into the search for the culprit. B’jin could understand taking it seriously; he couldn’t understand blaming every other person that breathed! Some of them were so dramatic. And that, too, pissed off the greenrider. They should be searching out of respect for D’ren, or at least the safety of their own hides, not to stick their noses up S’kef’s arse (‘cause they could claim it was for D’ren until the sun turned blue. B’jin knew next to none of them had anything more than their own goals in sight).

B’jin slipped into the dining hall on quiet feet, making his way with a flicking glance over to where Talian was seated. His eyebrows twitched in a not-qutie-frown at the sight of Fellis, but he didn’t comment on the firelizard. Instead, B’jin slumped into the spot beside Talian, and then slumped over, lying along the bench with his head resting on Talian’s thighs. A pouting expression claimed his features as brown eyes stared up at Talian. He looked like he might say something for a moment, and then shook his head slightly where it rested on the boy’s lap and his gaze went vague as he stared up at the ceiling without seeing it.

He’s missed you, Larrikith said gently to Talian, her voice warm and sultry.

lol, he's proddy, she's proddy, and his entire attitude atm is a general 'gods, just shoot me!'
Also, I always envisioned the Dining Halls as being made up of sections of long tables and benches rather than individual chairs for the majority, hence his ability flake out xD

Talian didn't notice B'jin's approach, leading to a slight yip of surprise when the greenrider was suddenly beside and then on top of him. The gesture, while adorable, was totally unexpected. Talian's eyes widened with uncertainty before a warmed expression replaced the surprise. "Hi," he said, looking down with indecision before reaching down and stroke the man's hair. B'jin always did that for Tal when he was upset. He figured he could return the favor.

Shards, Tal could have used some hair-stroking a few days before. He stood by his decision not to bother B'jin, but Larrikith's words provided enough reassurance that the young man managed to avoid overthinking the situation. Well, he didn't overthink B'jin's absence on that horrible day; he would continue to overthink everything else!

"It's good to see you," Talian said softly. He paused for a few long moments, enjoying the companionship in spite of the odd looks the pair were getting. It didn't occur to Talian how strange it looked, but he wouldn't have cared if it had. He let his words hang in silence for a while.

Fellis crooned. He wanted to like Daddy's daddy, but the man didn't seem to care for him in return, and that was scary. As curious as the flitter was, he stayed on his best behavior when Talian's free hand came down to rest on his back. "Be calm, little one," Talian said gently, quelling the creature's fear. Fellis purred.

"I know you're friends with the Weyrleader," Talian said, blatantly disregarding S'kef's claim and speaking only of D'ren. "I saved his life, but I'm worried he won't make it if they continue to keep me away from him," he said, voice soft, almost a whisper. Talian had mixed feelings towards D'ren, but even if the man was wholly wicked, Talian would have saved him to make B'jin happy.

"...I really expected that brownrider to drag me out to the gather square and hang me over this," he said bitterly. His hand paused for a moment and he unconsciously gripped B'jin's hair in fear before realizing what he'd done. He released and gave the greenrider's head a pat.

"...I guess that's over now, though. Tsuen spoke to me once, but....But I don't know. They haven't said anything else." He paused and frowned. "....I was scared, but I think it's going to be okay now..."

B’jin was as oblivious as Talian to any odd looks the pair were being subjected to, the man far more focused on his senseless gazing at the roof, eyes occasionally focusing on Talian as the young man spoke. The hair stroking was a sweet action the greenrider hadn’t been expecting, but he enjoyed it, pleased the lengthy strands weren’t prone to tangling too badly. While B’jin could definitely use a trim to clean up the messy style the left-to-grow had created, the greenrider wasn’t really interested in shaving it all off again. He hadn’t had lengthy hair since before he’d Impressed, and taking to wearing it pulled back in a low ponytail at the nape of his neck had been second nature.

B’jin smiled up at Talian, the expression warm and a little sad; the entire month was a mess, and B’jin wasn’t sure how anyone was coping. Except S’kef and his cronies, who were acting like it was Turnover , but they didn’t count and B’jin preferred to ignore their existence. “He’ll pull through,” B’jin murmured softly, gaze focusing on Talian’s face and he offered a reassuring smile. He’d pull through a lot faster, of course, if Talian were allowed to do his job and make sure the man got the best healing possible, but, “S’kef won’t let him die. That’d make him a martyr.” A pause, “besides, can you imagine what the Weyrwoman would do if he did?” The woman was batshit crazy already, and B’jin wasn’t sure if D’ren dying would make her more crazy, or less… Stupid bitch was as liable to be behind the attack as anyone else. He didn’t say that, of course, because B’jin knew when to open his mouth and when to keep it closed. The dining hall was definitely a place for the later (no matter what some people’s habits lead them to do – the scandal!) B’jin shook his head slightly, frowning.

“He wouldn’t,” B’jin said frankly, though his voice wasn’t overly loud it was assured and quiet. Brown eyes searched out Talian’s own gaze, aware but making no comment of the tightened grip in his hair, and both eyebrows arched upward in a manner to express his slightly warped amusement. “He’d rather torture us.” B’jin was no longer scared of the brownrider in question, a fact that while not advertised (just as hi fear never had been), had become notable to both his not-weyrmate and his fostered son since his Flight with the skin crawling bastard and its resulting injuries. B’jin pitied the brownrider, if either man had staked a question as to why, B’jin hadn’t answered.

“He won’t touch you.” It was stated with finality, and a harsh look at Talian that warned of bad things happening if he found out S’kef had gone near his kid, and a mild mannered scolding that the young man should drop any such thoughts. Thinking about it would only invite it to happen, especially with mind reading creepy brown dragons running around. B’jin shuddered. That dragon’s voice was as horrific as the creature it had claimed.

lol, I feel like that went in even more circles than usual. Beditme now! :D

Tal smiled with an unusual glimmer of confidence. "I think you're right," he replied. He hadn't thought about D'ren becoming a martyr. Perhaps the original attack was intended to kill him, but that theory would explain why there hadn't been any additional attempts on his life. The first had failed, and any more would only rouse sympathy.

"It's almost like it's not really happening," Talian said thoughtfully. He continued to stroke B'jin's hair, pleased at the response. "It's like everyone is sleepwalking. No one wants to believe it really happened." The healer frowned a little. In spite of his harsh disapproval of D'ren, he did pity the poor man. "A lot of the others have been telling me about his condition and asking for advice. I've been trying to help them, but Tsuen is so overprotective..." The words were spoken with a hint of venom, Talian wasn't convinced she wasn't involved, but his suspicions had dampened the more he realized just how protective she was. What a messed up relationship!


"It was humiliating, but at least interest turned over within a couple days...At first everyone said it was me, then everyone said it was S'kef, now they're saying is was Tsuen or N'gelt...shards." He laughed morbidly. "But my mind has been on something else."

He hand stopped and he sighed. "That dragon is getting awfully fat. Everyone expects her to clutch soon," he said. Fellis chirped, sensing Daddy's scattered and mixed thoughts. The fire lizard crawled up Talian's shirt to his shoulder, where he nuzzled his neck in an effort to calm him. Talian smiled and put his free hand on the creature.

"I can't shake the feeling, Dad. I'm going to Impress a dragon, aren't I?"His tone wasn't exactly one of dread, but it was certainly weighed down by uncertainty.

B’jin looked up quietly, watching Talian speak without interrupting the young man. A slight frown pulled his eyebrows together as he considered Talian’s take on the state of the weyr’s state of mind following the attack on D’ren. “Not everyone,” B’jin murmured, his voice tinged with disgust and disapproval. He didn’t feel it was necessary to emphasise on who wasn’t in the zombified state. That much should be clear, even if Talian weren’t dragonlengths more intelligent than the majority of the Weyr. B’jin nodded slightly, “good.” It didn’t occur to him that the healers shouldn’t seek his help, though he scowled at the mention of Tsuen. No words were spoken, but his opinion was clear as day.

“They’ll run through the entire Weyr,” B’jin was sure of that. It was only a matter of time before connections were made (or made up) for each member of the weyr, and B’jin was pretty sure the path would cross between himself and all the other poor (innocent!) sods that lived within the Weyr. B’jin snarled to himself and glared past Talian at the roof. The treatment that some of the members of the Weyr were being put through was unneeded and unfair. As much as B’jin might be prone to mentally rant and rave to Larrikith, however, he wouldn’t actively voice his disagreement. Not only would that call attention to himself and those around him, but it would put them all directly into the line of fire. B’jin wanted to protect himself and his friends, not line them up for slaughter. Talian had already slipped out with minimal issues; he wouldn’t put the boy back on the rocks.

As the subject shifted, B’jin grimaced, but his gaze focused on Talian’s face as he took in the young man’s expression, considering him seriously for a few moments. “She will,” he murmured, brown eyes flickering to glance at Fellis when he called attention to himself, eyebrows twitching with distaste though B’jin made no other sign and certainly no comment about the creature. He had never been fond of firelizards, and had been reluctant to invest the time and effort in them before the Plague during his Journeying years. He was surprised his dislike of the creatures surprised as many people as it did; but then, very few people were aware of the rocky relationship he had with his own dragon and the circumstance in which he had Impressed her. B’jin had ever been a good actor – making things appear perfectly fine when in fact his entire world was crumbling around him. He disliked dragons as a whole, was it surprising he hated firelizards? Not in his opinion, but he didn’t point that out. That that knew would either take it or leave it, and the rest of them just decided he was being a protective grump. He was fine with that.

“I don’t think so,” B’jin said firmly. It was less because he actually truly believed that Talian was incapable of Impressing – Larrikith had never Searched a dud before – but more a reaction of B’jin’s stubborn obsession. Talian would not make a good dragonrider, and he was far more useful to the weyr and the population at large if he were in the healer hall where he belonged. Which was exactly where he’d be if S’kef hadn’t been so busy parading around like a proddy gold sizing up the competitors for her flight and banning people from the things they should be! B’jin’s scowl returned as he huffed irritably. “You don’t want one; they’ll avoid you on principle of that.”

Well, usually. B’jin pointedly ignored his own dragon and their Impression.

Talian managed a small smile. "I hope you're right," he replied. He scooped Fellis into his lap, holding the little creature gently but protectively as he turned the idea of a dragon over in his head again and again. It no longer seemed quite so horrible, thanks to this little monster, but Tal still didn't care for the implications. The loss of his career would be bad enough, and ultimately he still hoped to escape the Weyr once they finally went home. In theory, anyhow. He wasn't sure what he'd be going back to anymore.

"I considered just...spending the whole thing thinking really hard about horrible ways to kill myself," Talian joked grimly, a smirk crossing his young face. "I figured surely that would keep the damn things away." Fellis cheeped in alarm, wriggling free of the young man's hands and climbing anxiously up his chest to nestle on his shoulder. No! Don't do that!

Talian laughed. "But I don't think I can bear to upset him so badly," he said, carefully plucking the creature from his shoulder and returning him to his lap. Talian really was quite taken with the little fire lizard, and that alone was enough to keep him from dreading the trip to the sands too much. It hardly seemed the tragedy that it once did, anyhow. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess it's either going to happen or it's not, but I really can't imagine anything else at this point..." he said, almost too casually. An indecisive look appeared on his face, but he frowned and banished it quickly enough. "I know it's technically why I'm here, but I guess my moral hangups are still getting in the way. Good thing I don't get to decide I guess..."

But that was the root of the problem. Talian still wished very much to be in control of his life in some way. He knew that dragonriding was traditionally thought of as the ultimate freedom, but was struggling to convince himself of that fact. By all rights, B'jin had rescued him from an abusive father and a dictated life. It was true, and Talian knew he'd have gone willingly if he'd been asked. He reminded himself of that as he held Fellis close and exhaled.

"It's going to be interesting."

B’jin shrugged slightly, peering up at Talian with mild amusement. “Hatchings are always interesting.” Not always good, not always bad – but definitely always interesting. B’jin doubted they would ever be anything else; he had yet to watch a Hatching that didn’t result in something interesting, and Impression no one for saw, a colour that people didn’t expect, hatchlings that climbed walls or ran out with half the candidates chasing it in confusion. B’jin had never seen a Hatchling die, and was hopeful he never would. Surely, if Larrikith would choose such a rocky bond with himself, a dragonet would attach itself to anyone rather than die. He expected that was why Candidate classes were so much larger than the clutch size. The more the merrier, right?

“There will be dozens more likely to Impress.” B’jin said firmly. It was probably insulting, if the statement was looked at in such a manner, but B’jin was pretty sure of his opinion and knew Talian would see past any implied insult at anyrate. The kid didn’t want to Impress, being told he was likely at the bottom of the list could only go down well, right? Except he’s not, Larrikith put in silkily. Shut up. Larrikith’s soft laughter echoed in the back of his mind as B’jin huffed irritably and sat up, rubbing a hand over his face and back through his hair. Taking a moment, B’jin braided the long strands, tying the end with a length of leather and flicking it back over his shoulder. Several strands fell free, but the greenrider ignored them.

“I don’t think that would do much,” He added, referring to Talian’s distasteful joke about thinking suicidal thoughts. “You’d probably have half the clutch trying to bond to save you.” A flat look was given and B’jin picked a fruit from the centre of the table, biting into it as he considered the little firelizard that was clinging to the boy. B’jin bit his bite in half, and offered it to the firelizard in a pinched grip.

It didn't sound like an insult to Talian. He smiled, knowing well that his father was trying to comfort him. "Thanks, Dad." Tal wasn't sure how to say that it was okay if things didn't turn out as they were supposed to, especially not after spending the better part of two turns lamenting the very possibility. He still wasn't keen on it, but like so many things, it no longer seemed like the end of his life. Tal wasn't so much entertaining the idea out of desire as out of the desire to prepare. If it DID happen, he didn't want to sit there like a shellshocked idiot and fall into his old habits.

Both Talian and Fellis were surprised at B'jin's next gesture. Fellis chirped questioningly, as if asking permission from one or both of them. Talian gave him a light poke. "It's all right, little friend," Talian assured the creature softly. Encouraged by his bonded's gentle touch, Fellis extended his neck and politely nibbled at the fruit, purring in delight as he did so. Talian smiled widely. "Shards, B'jin..." he said softly, feeling no need to add words in order to express his adoration for the little beast. Talking about it would just belabor the point, really.

Fellis nibbled for a few moments before squeaking, demonstrating that he was finished. He paused for a moment before lightly touching his nose to B'jin's fingertip in a gesture of thanks before returning to Talian's shoulder, curling tightly and licking his lips happily.

Talian's eyes flashed to B'jin. "Thanks," he said lightly, knowing that B'jin wasn't overly-fond of the creatures. "...For everything." He didn't want to talk about the hatching anymore. It left him feeling too uncertain, and he didn't anything that felt so...open-ended. He liked to know things, including how things would end and what to expect out of himself. He didn't like to think about the variables and the what-ifs. He wanted things to be simple, but the longer he lived the less simple things became.

"So how have you been?" Talian asked, shifting the topic away from himself. Poor B'jin looked so tired!

Congratulations, B'jin! You found a clue!



Clue 01:

You overhear two riders gossiping. "Did you know?" one of them says in a hushed whisper, "That M'bal was trying to become Weyrsecond? Rumor has it D'ren really snubbed him. M'bal didn't even make wingleader because of it! Imagine how he must feel now!"

"You think M'bal has the guts?" the other man asks.

"Oh, I'm sure he does..." his friend replies. "Think about how outspoken he is when he thinks no one is listening...He's just like S'kef, all polite on the outside and you just know he hated D'ren..."

"I wonder why D'ren snubbed him..." the other wonders aloud.


"I dunno, but I heard it was something really bad..."

B'jin watched the little firelizard quietly, a mild frown pulling his eyebrows together over his eyes, but the expression not nearly severe enough to be anything more than softly visible. The expression altered into one of distaste when Fellis actually touched him when he'd finished, the greenrider's nose scrunching up slightly as he dropped the piece of fruit on the table and wiped his fingers on his pant leg. Filthy little beasts!

He could hear Larrikith snickering in the back of his mind, but B'jin waves her off with a mental shrug when she asked why he was playing nice if he really did prefer she ate the little beast. The mental motion became a physical reality in answer to Talian's gently spoken thanks, and B'jin grimaced, half smiling as he bit into his own fruit (being very careful to keep the hand Fellis had touched in his lap and away from his face).

B'jin's nose scrunched up again, but this time there was a distinct air of amusement as he half smiled, about to make a dry comment about his personal situation, when two rider's walked by. They weren't speaking overly loud, but they passed close enough to where they were sitting in the busy Dining Hall that B'jin could hear enough of their conversation.

The greenrider frowned, the expression far more threatening than anything he had aimed at Talian's little firelizard, as dark eyes flickered over the faces of the two riders. They were far too involved in their gossip to notice his attention, and B'jin's expression only shifted to one of horror when he realised what they were talking about, the greenrider ducking his head to hide the expression and shoving the fingers of his right hand through his hair, the left still holding his forgotten fruit.

The bastards were talking about that damned blackmailing incident! B'jin hissed between his teeth, eyes searching the seat as if it would give him some magical answer. Obviously, D'ren and S'kef had kept the real reasoning behind all the denials of various bronze and brownriders off of the grape vine, as well as keeping B'jin and J'ver out of the firing line. B'jin had no idea why the pair of them hadn't ended up in trouble for it; obviously D'ren was not a seeker of drama, and S'kef wouldn't let anything happen to his precious princess. B'jin was just lucky to have been left out of the man's firing line.

Of course, that whole mess was why Talian had ended up in J'ver's cross hairs! B'jin huffed angrily, lifting his head and sweeping his hair back from his face as he contorted his expression into something more publically appealing. What was done, was done. But was that enough to cause someone like M'bal to poison D'ren? What would he do if the bronzerider came after him - or those he loves - by finding out B'jin had been the one to dish out the dirt on him in the first place? B'jin shuddered. He was pretty sure the entire population of bronze and brownriders would skin him alive if they found out the shit he had on them, never mind the stuff he'd sold.

Taking a deep breath, B'jin took another bite of his fruit and smiled blandly at Talian. "Oh, up and down. I can't believe some of the crap that comes out your classmate's mouths." He gave Talian a long suffering look. "I'm not sure how some of them remember to breathe." Larrikith gave a bright burst of laughter, audible to both men. Don't be cruel, Larrikith put in mildly, though her tone was amused. B'jin mumbled something about not being mean, he was being honest!