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[G] [C] 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Printable Version

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743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 29.Jun.22

Geric stared up at the sky in the closest field to his brother's home, his heart pounding so hard he could barely hear anything else. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why couldn't he react to things like his brother? Rationally he knew he could have just offered to at least be there for Yvandria and the baby. He could have even made a bid to marry her. Her father would likely have been enraged, but his would have been delighted. But no, he was too much of a coward to deal with her emotions and feelings, much less her parents. He hadn't even given her his real name!

Even if he wanted to try and salvage his current situation and have a family, he honestly still had no idea what he wanted at all, it felt like it was too late. He'd lied, he'd lied again and run, and because all of that his son was named Yvangerlis after his brother. He wasn't going to be able to keep this a secret without doing something drastic that he didn't think he had the stomach for. Not when she lived in the same Hold, not when she came from a wealthy family, and especially not when he'd been an idiot and used his brother's name as an alias. His Master Harper brother. This was going to blow up into an enormous scandal, and he was going to ruin his brother's life again, or maybe even his career.

Maybe he would be the first man in his family to die of a heart attack. The fact that his brother was over the moon with his wife's recent news only made Geric feel worse. Why couldn't he have reacted like that? Why couldn't he have felt joy and eagerness instead of dread and panic? And then he'd thought about how much worse a scandal would be for a married man with a family than a single younger brother and that had made him almost dizzy with distress. So when someone had mentioned Quilriana's son was coming to visit, he volunteered to go wait in the field for him in order to just get out and try and clear his head.

He wasn't sure it had worked though since his stomach was still a nervous tangle of knots, even as he saw the golden yellow of Dalsuth's belly bordered in bright blue come into view overhead and start circling for a descent. Geric closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. At least he was momentarily distracted as he realized he'd forgotten Quinnie's new name. He liked Quil's son, they got along decently enough the few times they'd interacted before, and now he just felt like an ass for forgetting his new honorific. Normally he was good with names and remembering things, but he'd been so frazzled and distracted since learning his infant son's name that he'd been dropping the ball on a lot of small things lately.

As the dragon landed Geric finally pushed himself up so he could walk over and greet the pair and at least pretend he was a decent enough host. "Hi! It's good to see you both!" Except he knew his face was too tight, so he sighed and rubbed his neck, using the excuse of forgetting the name to try and distract from his other worries. "Sorry, Quinnie, I know you're not N'lis anymore, but I can't remember what they said your new name was. I'm the worst uncle." It was a feeble attempt at humor, but at least he'd tried for it. "How have you two been?"


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Qu'va - 30.Jun.22

"Slow descent, Dalsuth!" Qu'va called over the wind rushing by as Dalsuth started his nosedive when the landing field was in sight. He was never going to get used to his dragon's need for speed and daring stunts no matter how often they happened with him attached to Dalsuth's back. Some of the fear stemmed from not believing in his own abilities to keep the riding straps maintained and they would simply snap one day. That would be the ultimate test of Dalsuth's speed! But he'd rather avoid that test.

He could feel the pout through their bond as the brightly coloured blue pulled up and slowed down so he could do the proper lazy circing descent. Feeling guilty, Qu'va spent the rest of the trip soothing his dragon and telling him it wouldn't help them if they scared the Holders. He even promised they could do some dives when they got back to the Weyr even with his stomach still trying to settle from the dive they had just pulled out of. But Dalsuth was happy so he was happy and they were now back on solid land with Geric coming to greet them.

Qu'va smiled at the man--his uncle--as he slid down Dalsuth's side, planting his own feet on the ground. He flushed a little at being called Quinnie though he wasn't embarrassed by it. His handful of friends and his family called him that and Geric was family now so he wasn't sure why he felt a little awkward. Maybe it was a carryover from his name crisis or simply realising Geric really was family. Not that it mattered as Geric was soon apologising for forgetting his new honorific and shaming himself as a bad uncle. "Oh! No, it's fine! It's only been a few days and I'm still getting used to it. Uh, 'it' being Qu'va." If his uncle didn't already think him a weird mess, Qu'va knew he wasn't helping the shift toward it.

Speaking of that, he managed a little shy smile and looked at the man's chest, struggling to keep eye contact. "Since you're not much older than me and forgetting something about me is kind of something a sibling would do, you can be my big brother instead." He was trying to make a joke and show he wasn't offended but now he just sounded needy or that he didn't want an uncle.

"Right, yeah. Um, we're fine," Qu'va turned back to gesture at Dalsuth only to find the dragon had decided straps or not, it was time to sprawl on his back and enjoy the sun. "I swear I can't take him anywhere," he mumbled but with a look of affection on his face.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 30.Jun.22

"Qu'va," Geric repeated to himself as he nodded. He was normally good at remembering names and faces and other details, and he was especially disappointed that this was the one he'd forgotten. It was closer to his name than N'lis had been, he should have had an easy time remembering it, even with his own distractions lately. Still, he was sure he'd be able to remember it now at least.

At the mention of their ages he nodded, letting out an awkward chuckle. "Yeah... I'm really not and it's weird to think of myself as an uncle, even if Leeri is so much older than me." It was weirder still to think of himself as a dad. "Big brother is fine with me though. Just... don't be too disappointed if I don't have great advice."

The blue sprawling in the sun brought a more genuine smile to Geric's face. At least someone knew how to relax. "He looks comfortable at least. That must be nice... just be able to lie down in the sun and not care about anything." At least he assumed the dragon didn't have a care in the world right then, he looked too peaceful and relaxed. Geric had already tried lying in the sun, and that had just led to more dread because he couldn't even relax right.

He shook his head and turned his attention back to Qu'va. "Did you want to stop by the market or do anything else before we head home? Your mom's excited to see you." He had no idea if Qu'va even knew about the news yet, or if Quilriana was going to tell him when she saw him. He hadn't so much been told directly himself as he'd walked in at the right moment to overhear. That was a whole different set of anxieties. Maybe Quil would finally kick him out to use his room for the baby. It wasn't something he wanted to think about right then so he just scratched at his head and tried to move on. "Oh and if you want a specific wine or something to drink like that let me know and I can run and get it for you." Maybe he could distract from from how awful and awkward he was feeling by pretending to be a good host.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Qu'va - 02.Jul.22

As Geric watched Dalsuth sprawl, Qu’va’s attention turned to his uncle—now brother? Maybe just friend? Whatever he was, maybe he didn’t know him well enough to fully judge him but Qu’va felt like something was bothering Geric. He knew that wistful look well given how often he saw it on his own face when he caught a glimpse in a mirror or the lake’s reflection. Something was on the man’s mind and he didn’t know what to do about it but Qu’va didn’t think it was his place to bring it up, especially with how little evidence he had. Maybe Geric was just overworked at the Hall or didn’t get enough sleep and simply wanted to lie down beside a dragon for an afternoon nap. He’d been there as well and highly recommended it. Only not really since he didn’t mention that either.

“I don’t need any special wine,” he assured Geric, hoping to put him at ease even if just a little. Qu’va hated being fussed over in general and it was just a visit to his mom so he really didn’t need special treatment. “I don’t need to stop at the market either. Unless you need to!” He quickly added, worried that maybe Geric was trying to be a good host and do what the guest wanted to do and not what he needed to get done. It led back into them being family and any weird hospitality rules didn’t need to apply to them.

“I’m not in any rush so we can stop wherever you need to go. I don’t mind, I promise.” Again, Qu’va tried to smooth any rough spots before they became too big of an issue. He had to assume Geric had errands of some sort to run if he was the one meeting him that day. It was easy to swing by and pick up items on the way back and now there were two of them in case it was a lot they had to grab. “My bag is mostly empty so I can help carry as well,” Qu’va gave a soft smile as he patted his satchel that he knew his mom would fill with cooking and treats before he left that night. She never let him leave empty-handed and liked to ensure her baby was always well fed.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 02.Jul.22

"No wine? That's fine." The accidental rhyme only made Geric cringe a bit. Ah well, if Qu'va didn't need anything from the market, he couldn't think of anything he'd want from there either. And now that he thought about it more it was probably a bad idea to head that way since he didn't know if he'd just happen to accidentally run into Yvandria or someone from her family.

Guess heading home was the only option then. Hopefully he'd be at least a bit more calm by the time he got there, or maybe Quil and Leeri would be too distracted by their guest to pay any attention to him. That could probably work. Except with his luck neither of them would fall for it, they'd notice and then they'd fuss and then Quil would claim she wasn't upset, but she secretly would be because it would take away time from her real son that she loved, and because she'd be secretly upset his brother would be upset...

"Sorry," he blurted the word out as he plopped back onto the ground, head in his hands as he closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe. Geric tried to just scold himself; he'd done plenty of sneakier shit than this without things going wrong or him getting caught! He was good at his work! Only he couldn't treat his family like work for some reason. "Sorry."

He took a few more breaths, at least got his voice steadier before he groaned softly. "I'm... it's nothing you did. Has nothing to do with you, I promise. I'm just a nervous wreck right now about some stuff and I don't want Leeri to worry and I really don't want your mother to worry because she's too nice and she doesn't deserve that."

Geric chuckled ruefully and shook his head. "I don't even want to go to the market... I was just trying to stall for some time. I'll be fine in a few minutes probably just... just needed to stop for a moment and sit." He at least pulled his head out of his hands as he squinted up at Qu'va. "Do dragons ever panic for no reason? Or is that just something people like me get to live with?"


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Qu'va - 03.Jul.22

As soon as Geric hit the ground, Qu’va started panicking but refrained from saying anything or touching his uncle. It seemed like some sort of mental break and since he had a lot of those himself, it seemed best to let Geric take a moment to either compose himself or explain what was going on before he reacted. Still, he felt dumb just standing there as a man was on the ground dealing with the weight of the world. So after a few more seconds of staring dumbly and catching Geric’s eye when he glanced up, Qu’va crouched and continued to be awkward but at least they were on the same level again.

The explanation he was given was so incredibly vague that Qu’va still didn’t know what to say other than to blush faintly at the realisation he didn’t even consider he could have been the cause of the meltdown. His own insecurities and reactions to a lot of life had him in such positions, though usually when alone, so he knew instantly a panic attack was happening. He also knew telling Geric everything would be fine and brushing aside his fears wouldn’t help either, though he now understood why people always wanted to do such things. He wanted to help, to make the other man feel better, and insisting Gangleri and his mom would understand whatever was happening and still love him was strong. But truthfully, he also didn’t know if that would be true since he didn’t know what Geric had done. His mom was so supportive that Qu’va couldn’t believe she would ever turn her back on anyone in need, though.

The question about dragons threw him off and Qu’va opened his mouth to answer and then paused, a frown showing he had to think about it. “I’m not sure. Maybe. They seem generally happy and relaxed or hyper and playful but I know some are very solemn as well. I haven’t met all the dragons, hardly any honestly, but I can’t see why some wouldn’t be nervous or panic regularly. They have all of our other emotions and human and dragon can influence the other’s mood as well.” Was that even a helpful answer? Qu’va sighed and looked back at Dalsuth. The dragon was still lying on his back but he was watching them with great interest. Dalsuth loved people-watching and explained not too long ago that humans interacted in such odd ways and that five people could all show the same emotion in a different way. Qu’va wondered if he and Geric were the same or different in his eyes.

Both, Dalsuth responded to the unasked question but didn’t elaborate, even when Qu’va prodded for more. But he did gently brush against Geric’s mind before speaking solely to the Harper. It’s okay to be sad or worried, Geric. It’s also okay to trust someone and talk with them. Qu’va has been working on that as well. He’s also a great listener and so am I. He likes to curl up against me and talk. It seems to help if you want to try it. Since he was already on the ground, it was the best chance to get such interactions out of him. Dalsuth hated sitting still or moving slowly but once he had flopped, he could be held captive to hugs for a while and it seemed Geric needed some.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 03.Jul.22

For a moment Geric was sure that Qu'va's silence meant that he hated him, since normally so many people would be trying to reassure him, which was always awkward and sometimes even made him feel like he would just end up disappointing them by proving their reassurances wrong. But the look on the bluerider's face had much more understanding than he'd expected. So Geric just gave a small subtle nod to himself as he closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing again.

Even if Qu'va had never met a nervous and panicky dragon personally, it was nice to think that he didn't find the idea absurd. That such a noble looking creature that could fly and also move from one place then to another in the blink of an eye might also have an occasional moment of panic or overwhelming nerves was... well not quite soothing, but at least less lonely. He hoped such dragons had good and supportive riders to help them through those moments, and since from everything he'd heard it was the dragons who picked, it made sense that they would have such a person.

The voice in his head made him jump though, the soft tenor startling him with its appearance despite the soothing tone that accompanied it. Geric looked around and realized it had to be Dalsuth, and he stared at the dragon for a moment in wonder. "He has.... a really nice voice. I wonder if he can sing." He wasn't sure how to talk to a dragon, or even what to say really. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about what had happened, how he'd messed everything up, he wasn't sure he could actually trust them, not when he was too worried to even talk to his brother about it. But curling up next to the dragon seemed... appealing. He hadn't really touched one before. The few times he'd needed to do anything in the field for the Hall had all been in the very near vicinity so getting a ride from a horse, much less a dragonrider, hadn't been needed.

A bit hesitantly he pushed himself up and walked over to the bright blue dragon, eyeing the bright splash of yellow on his chest. "I'm... I'm not sure I want to talk about all of it. But maybe some?" He glanced nervously over at Qu'va, making sure he didn't look too bothered before he sat down and leaned against Dalsuth. He hadn't thought it would be so warm and soft, and that only made him shift slightly to give the dragon a full blown hug as he let out a shaky sigh. "I did something really stupid, and then instead of trying to make it better I just... did more stupid things and made it worse because I got too nervous and panicked and didn't think anything through. And I've already got that and now I'm worried that Quil might finally let my brother kick me out so that they can have more room."

At least he caught himself before saying much more than that. It wasn't his news to give, and he didn't want to take that away from the woman if she hadn't yet told Qu'va yet. "Anyway, I'm still not sure what I want to do or even have happen and every time I try to think about it I just get nervous and make myself panic more. And now I'm just making a visit awkward." But at least hugging Dalsuth was nice, and despite having said everything he had he didn't feel any worse for it.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Qu'va - 04.Jul.22

"Don't encourage him," Qu'va mumbled but the tone and smile made it obvious he was teasing and Dalsuth's occasional singing was fun and adored. He even sang along with his dragon when they were in their weyr or alone at the lake for a bath. It was something Qu'va had encouraged in their weyrling days since it seemed to distract Dalsuth enough that he didn't notice he was standing still so he didn't tip over. Since the boy hadn't grown out of that quirk, they continued to sing together and Qu'va suspected Geric might be serenaded before they left.

Qu'va nodded and smiled encouragingly at Geric when the Harper seemed to hesitate at what must have been an offer for cuddles. Despite having his own dragon to speak with, Qu'va still went to visit Halomirth and get her perspective on issues plaguing him. Dalsuth didn't mind and often tagged along to get in on the cuddle puddle and often seemed to be taking mental notes on how to help. Maybe it was time to put that acquired information to practice. That meant he would have to pull a F'drel and pretend he wasn't really there or listening, like the greenrider used to do in the early visits. He never minded F'drel being there or listening but it had been easier to talk to a dragon than a person for the longest time and that might be what Geric needed. So he sat on the other side of Dalsuth and gave his boy an affectionate pat to encourage his kindness while he thought about why his mom and Gangleri would need more room.

Dalsuth thought about the problem but with how vague it was, it was hard to give proper advice or know what questions he should ask. His long neck swivelled so he could look at the man and consider him properly. It didn't help that he was upside down. Oh wait, Geric was the right way up. Maybe that was the problem. Dalsuth found a new perspective could help a lot but maybe his own point of view would help first before the human had to stand on his hands. Apologies and the truth are both very scary but make everyone involved feel better. You should consider one or both if you can. Dalsuth paused and thought about what other advice he could give or how to elaborate on that point. This was hard! Halomirth made it seem so easy.

Mama Quil is very nice. I don’t think she will kick you out and I bet she will help you untangle the knots. He still didn’t know how humans could have knots in their stomach but Qu’va mentioned them sometimes when he was nervous or scared and maybe Geric had those as well and needed some help.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 04.Jul.22

The thought of a dragon singing was just fascinating, and Geric wondered if his older brother had thought about using dragons in his plays. Was there a limit to how many they could talk to? How far away? It had interesting implications for letting larger audiences hear more, but then he wasn't sure if everyone could even hear dragons. This was certainly his first time.

Hearing Dalsuth's voice was just soothing in an odd way. Maybe it was because he wasn't a human, he probably didn't judge people for the same things right? Geric didn't know, but he also didn't really want to ask. "I don't think an apology would be very well appreciated... and I don't even know who to apologize to. I only... it was just one person I was with, but things are just getting out of hand, and I'm realizing it affected more people than I thought."

Mama Quil. It made perfect sense to him. He'd been very confused about his brother's relationship to the woman, but she very quickly seemed like a maternal figure. It almost felt disrespectful to drag her down to his level by calling her a sister in law. "But do you think she would keep it a secret from even Gangleri?" That was the important thing. He could have tried to talk to his own mother, but she would have told anything he said to his father and that would have just gotten quite out of hand. And he was worried that any advice he got from Gangleri would either be a disappointed "suck it up," or more worryingly an over the top and excessively dramatic series of convoluted plans. That also were filled with disappointment.

It was nice that the dragon didn't think he would get kicked out, but Geric was still dubious about it. He took a deep breath and gave the dragon another squeezing hug as he just lingered in that nice toasty warmth. "Maybe I'll talk to her. A little. With only a few details. But after she gets to spend time with Qu'va since he's her real son and she actually loves him."

One more deep breath and then Geric pulled away and stood up, taking a moment to look around and just evaluate. "I... think I feel better? Still anxious about stuff... but I can at least hide it now." He probably shouldn't have admitted that part aloud and quickly gave the dragon some hushed reassurances. "I'll still try to talk to her... later. But we should get home while I'm okay." Maybe he'd tell Gangleri that dragons could sing. Though with his luck his brother probably already knew.


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Qu'va - 05.Jul.22

Mama Quil will definitely help you! Even if that means some secrets for a little while. I know it. While Dalsuth was a fan of the truth, he didn't think keeping a secret while helping someone was really lying. It was a delayed truth, so long as Gangleri was told eventually.

"My mom has a lot of love to give and I'm good at sharing," he hoped he didn't sound too bitter with that last part since he had mostly accepted that truth. He only had himself to blame. He'd forgotten his girlfriend was weyrbred and viewed relationships differently. He had been mostly fine with sharing M'quel with D'hys since from what he had heard about what that bluerider offered, Qu'va would never be able to compete and be that adventurous. And then along came T'ryn who had a mate but was also weyrbred. M'quel had to explain that some friends were comfortable showing their affection through sex. He had completely misunderstood their relationship from the very beginning but at least they were friends. And he really couldn't complain anymore since he was working up his courage to ask Zelana to help him be...not him when it came to sex.

Qu'va didn't share any of that, though there had been a moment as Geric spoke with Dalsuth where he considered it. Maybe it would have helped the Harper to know he was also having some issues or maybe it would at least distract him from his own woes. He was pretty sure he could make Geric laugh by confessing he was worried about A'tay but should have been worried about the brother. But Geric announced he was feeling better so Qu'va only smiled and walked around Dalsuth to join back up with his new brother. "I offer this sincerely, but if you ever need some more dragon hugs, send me a letter. We can even bring you back to the Weyr for the day if you just want to get out of the Hold."


RE: 743.06.25 | Familial Distractions - Geric - 05.Jul.22

It was the little while part that worried Geric, some secrets never seemed safe to get out. But Quil was clever... she'd probably agree it was better to not talk about this one to people. Right? He tried to take a few deep breaths but then Qu'va commented about her being good at sharing and he stuttered and huffed and coughed. Did he know about... about how both Quil and Leeri saw other people on occasion? They were usually pretty discreet about it, though. That and Geric always made a point to find an excuse to be in the Hall or otherwise been invisible when a certain regular visitor from the Weyr came to see Quil, and he'd seen his brother's face whenever he read certain letters he received by firelizard. Then again he also knew how his brother looked at his wife so... he'd very carefully restrained his snooping.

He glanced at the dragonrider next to him, his practically a brother nephew-in-law, and realized that he probably hadn't been referring to that at all. No, Qu'va was probably just a good son and referring to his mother's general affections and maternal care than anything else. So Gerric forced a smile and gave Dalsuth's warm hide another pat for a little last minute soothing touch. "You don't have to share anything with me. Today is your day, I can wait to talk to her until after you're done."

The offer of future dragon hugs, or even a visit to the Weyr, made Geric quiet for a moment as he started walking with only a small gesture for Qu'va to follow. Ullie had run off to the Weyr and seemed to be enjoying hismelf, maybe he could too, but to hide. Then again he wasn't Ullie, and Geric knew better than to try and tell that particular friend of his about his current predicament. "Maybe. I might like that I just worry about work and I don't want to be a burden on you. But I'll at least let you know if I want a dragon hug."

That part he could at least smile about honestly as he led the way back home and pushed the door open. "Go on, I'm sure your mother will be happy to see you."