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+--- Thread: [G] [C] 742.02.03 | Solace and Solidarity (/showthread.php?tid=4823)
742.02.03 | Solace and Solidarity - A'ryn - 03.Feb.21
What am I even doing…? The hatching grounds cavern loomed ahead of her, a black maw against the wall of the Weyr. She fiddled with her hands, picking at a nail, as she no longer had the bundle of mint leaves to mess with. She’d left those in a small basket outside Cazan’s weyr. They’d be seen eventually…she hadn’t bothered to knock to see if anyone was home. She was probably in there with Malvayth. Maybe.
The soft crunch of the remaining snow mingled with the crunch of sand as she halted at the entrance to the hatching grounds, unsure if she should attempt to enter. The young queen was in pain. There was no way she couldn’t be. And Cazan…there’s no way she wasn’t hurting, too. Her dragon was angry and mourning, and she likely felt it even more, amplified by her own pregnancy, and the feelings and instincts that went with.
And now, with everyone keeping well away, they both probably felt quite alone, too. And loneliness right now…while some were alright with it, she didn’t wish loneliness on anyone at a time like this. And if they did want to be alone, she understood. She took a deep, shaky breath and glanced around, checking to make sure nobody saw, as she didn’t want to be reprimanded and possibly pulled from this pool of candidates. After a moment, breath held, she was satisfied that no eyes were on her, and she continued, belatedly hoping Aradissicath wasn’t inside, too. Letting the light from the bowl silhouette her against the mouth of the cavern, she stepped inside, calling softly.
“Hello? If you need…” Her voice trailed off weakly, unsure what she could offer. “If you need company…I’m here.”
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - Cazan - 03.Feb.21
Malvayth was still angry that Cazan had let them take her baby away, though that bit of anger was dying down to a sad simmer. At least her baby would be able to help others from what her rider had told her while trying to soothe. She hadn't moved from her spot curled around the rest of her precious babies since the terrible incident, and she was determined to stay there until they were ready to hatch. And then, maybe then she would let people look at her eggs from a safe distance.
Her tail flicked at the sound of a voice on her Sands and she let out a low warning growl as she lifted her head to face the intruder. the sound quickly faded though as she realized it was Aederyn, one of her friends. She lowered her head down, her voice softly calling out to the young woman,
There was still a bit of anxious nerves, worry that an accident could happen if she let anyone too close to her babies again. The gold shifted her weight ever so slightly, trying to offer her clutch more protection while also trying to get into a position to easily look at her guest. Cazan was sitting nearby, trying to keep herself busy with work as she sketched and drew out more plans. She gave the candidate a nod in greeting but otherwise stayed quiet, relieved that her precious gold baby was able to be at least somewhat sociable.
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - A'ryn - 03.Feb.21
The low rumble was felt as much as heard and awakened some primal instinct to want to just run away, only slightly lessened when the queen spoke to her. The rage and desire to protect was understandable, but it didn’t make it any less scary. She wouldn’t run, though. The queen’s voice was soft and distraught, not her usual cheerful self, and it was heartbreaking to hear. She couldn’t run from that. “It’s alright. I didn’t exactly announce myself. I was kinda sneaky.” Slowly crossing the sands, she continued. “Of course not. I’ll stay wherever you need me to. However close or far that is.” She carefully picked her way closer to the queen, but not so close as to elicit another growl, and removed her green robe, folding it to create a cushion barrier from the heat that she might sit down on. She nodded over to Cazan, busy with work, and smiled a bit. It was good to see her.
A few minutes passed in silence, just acknowledging each others company. The redhead sighed, not entirely sure what to do. From her own experience, it was difficult to take comfort from others sometimes, especially if they seemed to have no idea about the situation. Did dragons want or even need comfort? Malvayth seemed like she would appreciate it, as social as she typically was. Deciding on a course, she began to share a bit of her story, in hopes that it might bring the queen some sense of knowing she wasn’t alone in how she felt.
“I don’t pretend to understand exactly how you feel, of course. It’s not nearly the same thing as…” She couldn’t speak of the touching. It was terrible to think on and she didn’t want to risk upsetting the gold. “…But I have a pretty solid idea of what it feels like to lose a child.”
She pushed on, trying to get to her point without stumbling over her words. “I guess I want to say that, I know it’s an awful feeling. And nobody should have to feel like that alone, or feel like nobody else understands it.”
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - Cazan - 04.Feb.21
Malvayth watched Aederyn warily as she approached, and let out a soft, satisfied huff with where the young woman chose to stop and settle down. The silent stillness was at least comforting, it was nice to have that time to remember that not all candidates were awful. She still had her oil helpers, or at least one. Hopefully Quinvalis wasn't too scared to see her again too. Maybe she would ask Cazan to check on him for her later.
The gold dragon tilted her head when Aederyn began to speak, quietly listening. She still wasn't sure how to feel, wasn't sure if knowing others suffered helped her at all. She still felt awful, both about the loss of her own baby and for accidentally hurting some of the candidates when she lost her temper. She wasn't meant to be a villain, she was supposed to be one of the heroes, even if she sometimes did sneaky or tricky things. But heroes weren't meant to hurt candidates, and they weren't meant to let anything happen to their babies either.
Do you think Aederyn is a villain? Cazan had been very quietly eavesdropping, trying not to be too nosy, but paying extra attention to her gold while they had a visitor. Malvayth turned her her head towards her rider, her voice distraught as she quickly responded,
Malvayth was not in the mood for this sort of thinking, though she knew Cazan was just trying to help. She sank her head back onto the warmth of the sands as she turned back to Aederyn.
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - A'ryn - 08.Feb.21
She winced at the memory. “Yes. I screamed, and cried…I hit my brother when he tried to help. I was upset. Poor Rudi tried to help, and I’m kinda surprised he stuck around because I know I didn’t treat him very kindly, either. I hurt them too, because I know I said some terrible things I didn’t mean.”
She watched the big gold carefully and smiled wryly. “I think I hurt myself, more than anyone, though. With everything that happened, granted, it was a bit of a different situation… but I felt so horrible, I pushed people away because of it. I felt so horrible that I started to think that I was horrible. And I let myself feel and think that way for a long time. Too long.”
She stared absently across the sands, considering, before looking back at the young queen. “But just because we feel bad doesn’t mean we are bad. Sometimes stuff happens, and, it hurts. It’s not fun. It doesn’t make sense. All we can do is…be there. For ourselves. For each other.”
She adjusted on her makeshift cushion. “So…I’m here. I know you probably feel bad. I just want to be here to remind you that you’re not bad. Okay?” She offered a small smile at the gold before looking over at Cazan, busily sketching in her notepad. She knew the gold rider was listening, there’s no way she would’t be. “You too. I know I’ve pulled back lately. I guess I was having a hard time seeing you in motherly bliss. I want to apologize, it’s still a bit of a sore spot. I know you’ve got stuff pretty well covered and under control, but if you need me, I am still here, I promise.” She shrugged.
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - Cazan - 09.Feb.21
Malvayth thought about trying to hit Taith and felt even more awful. At least she hadn't done anything like that in her grief. She hadn't meant to hurt anyone really, just wanted to get people away from her precious eggs as quickly as possible and... well then she'd hurt people anyway without thinking about it. She didn't like being so angry, and was beginning to get angry at herself when she just let out a long breath and rested her head back on the sands sadly to keep listening to Aederyn.
Cazan looked up from her sketchbook when she realized that Aederyn was now speaking to her directly. "Oh... it's fine. I'm sorry. I never really wanted to get pregnant it just... well you know." She sighed and closed up her book for a moment as she leaned back to try and stretch and be a little more comfortable. "I honestly don't know what all is going to happen and I'm a little worried about things. Very worried I guess. I think that might just be Mal though." She wasn't entirely sure what to say really, she'd gone through her own swirl of emotions and had been doing her best to just try and hold everything together and be as stoic as possible for Mal. She'd had her moments of panic with Kor'is and T'ryn, and they'd both offered their own very different forms of support, but she still wasn't sure she wanted to talk about things with anyone else.
She idly rested a hand on her belly, frowning as she thought about all the things that could potentially go wrong. Lady flew down to snuggle protectively against the bump while Sir perched vigilantly on her shoulder. Mal turned to look at her and let out a grumble.
RE: 742.02.03 Solace and Solidarity - A'ryn - 10.Feb.21
“Well, I’m not scared. And I know many of the others know that you only acted that way because you were upset.” Cazan adjusted in her seat as she replied, and the redhead nodded back. “Worry is fine. Normal. Thinks have a way of working out in some form, though.” Aederyn smiled wanly at the two of them, understanding that she’d hit her limit of where the two wanted to go. Which was fine, she felt that if she said much more she’d just be disappearing down the tunnel snake hole.
She nodded, back at Mal, readjusting and thinking. “Of course, I love chatting with you. Hm…a happy story…how about the very first time I got to see a Hatching?” it was a bit of a gamble, but she hoped the happiness of another Hatching, second-hand it may be, would lift the queen's spirits regarding the soon-to-come hatching of her own clutch. “It was a number of turns back, and I was Running messages along with my brother, who was helping me train. We were taking a pouch up to Telgar Weyr, and I had never been to a Weyr at all, then. It was huge! We had just arrived in the lower caverns, and Alekse was…”
She regaled the queen with the happy tale of joy, excitement, and wonder, letting her enthusiasm radiate as much as she could to cheer her. “Seeing that, being there for such an amazing thing, even if it was only watching from the Stands…I knew then, that I wanted to come to a Weyr, and hopefully, someday, Impress a dragon, too. Maybe, some of the visitors will fall in love with dragons and the Weyr when they visit for your babies hatching.”
Based on the sunlight, she guessed she’d been there for a while, and she’d soon be missed from afternoon chores. Standing, she picked up her robe, and started to move toward the entrance, casting one more glance toward the clutch the queen was still wrapped around. “You should be very proud. And it is an honor to stand for your clutch.”