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+--- Thread: [G] [C] 741.07.13 | Jungle Girl (/showthread.php?tid=4660)
741.07.13 | Jungle Girl - Mylorah - 13.Jul.20
She hadn't been out in 'public' with Tazikel in what felt like forever. He had invited her to a dinner Tillek hosted last month and a few weeks before that they had attended Benden Hold's Gather together which had been a lot of fun and where she met Yfris, another one of Tazikel's lordly friends. She still very much preferred having her Sir Tazicurls visit her at the Weyr where everything was much more relaxed but he had the most adorable pout and Mylorah found it hard to say no any time he asked her to go to a party.
Truthfully, the parties weren't that bad anymore. She was used to the dresses, was pretty good at remembering names now, and sometimes even felt accepted by some of the people in attendance. Tazikel was good company and he upheld his promise that he would make every event exciting and show her the secret ways to have fun.
Still, she knew people gossiped about her and she didn't expect everyone to like her--even though it was always her nature to befriend everyone she met. But they were always polite to her face and that was all she could ask for. The illusion of the perfect world she had created to dance in remained intact--until a new song debuted.
She smiled as the trio of women mentioned a new song they wanted to share. That smile had quickly turned into shock after one line. She had been clinging to Tazikel at the time, doing her best to whisper naughty ideas to him and she felt him tensing with each word that came out of their mouths. She was still stuck on being in shock and soon found herself battling with the desire to turn and run away. Keeping Tazikel from having a lordly tantrum and drawing more attention to her kept her in place.
It was easy to see how angry he was and one of the girls saw that as well as she stopped singing before the other two. As much as Mylorah adored him, she couldn't stop from wondering if the anger was for her or if he viewed the song as an attack on his pride and status since she was linked to him. As soon as that thought had hit her, Mylorah was ashamed of herself and pushed her own feelings aside to assuage his anger. She had clapped lightly but pointed out someone was a bit out of pitch and that they were going to go find an actual harper to listen to before escorting Tazikel away from the catty bitches.
She had to assure him multiple times she was fine and it was harmless fun even as the snickering of other guests still echoed in her head. Besides, some of it was true. Best to forget all about it and enjoy themselves. She didn't think he believed her but he let it drop for the time being. If only he knew that every time he stepped a few feet away from her someone would walk by softly singing a snippet of the song.
Looking back on it now, as she laid in Tazikel's bed with the lordling sleeping beside her, she should have expected such a thing.
You're a jungle girl, in our classy world
Out of your league, not a colleague
She was a jungle girl, that wasn't anything she was ashamed of. Heck, it was one of the first things she told Tazikel upon meeting him. Her dearest friend Mimi even said she wasn't meant to be a holder and the way he had said it was a compliment and they giggled as they made fun of them and their horrible rules and way of living. Yet there she was, trying to blend in because a lord had swept her off her feet.
Everything that currently surrounded her were things she never should have had--she never even wanted them. The second son of a major Hold should definitely have been out of her league and she shouldn't know that sheets could be softer than almost any dress she'd ever worn.
Do you brush your hair? You undress anywhere
Flirty temptation, that's your motivation
Flirting was a major part of who she was. She sometimes did it without even realising it and she blamed that on her father. With R'nd as a dad, could she expect anything less? Still, because of that, even just a friendly conversation or an innocent dance was often viewed in a different light, especially when she was near a Hold. One of the girls singing the song had been clinging to a lord Mylorah remembered dancing with at the Benden Gather. They had laughed and chatted for a few songs before parting ways. She hadn't made any advances toward him and he had been the one to kiss her hand before leaving, but that must have been the last straw for a jealous woman with nothing better to do than tear down another woman to make herself feel good. The other two girls that serenaded her often tried throwing themselves at Tazikel so Mylorah decided jealousy was their motivator as well.
You're a dumb jungle girl in way over your head
Dress you up, doesn't help, you're still slutty
She thought about the beautiful dress that was currently draped over a chair in the corner of the room. They weren't really wrong. Tazikel and his sister-in-law had worked hard to find the perfect style that was respectable yet still comfortable for her. Sure, they were sometimes stifling and she needed help in and out of one in particular but she felt pretty and it made Tazikel smile. Again she thought of the Gather and how she had worn a dress from T'ryn. Her brother had an amazing sense of fashion and knew her style well enough that he found something simple and a tad longer than her preferred length so she could twirl and play at the Gather without scandalizing too many people. It still probably looked like a slip to all the proper ladies out there--not to mention their beliefs of what went on in Weyrs. So she really was just a slut playing dress up.
Before she could will away the feelings again, Mylorah was silently crying into the too fluffy pillow covered in the too soft material. She vaguely wondered if the fabric was so fine it would leave tear stains and the thought almost had her bursting out in laughter at how ridiculous she was.
Maybe it was time she stopped pretending she was more than she was meant to be. Stop playing dress up, stop leaving the Weyr. It wasn't like anyone actually expected her to fit in or marry anyone in their circle. She was just a whim of a second son that was going on a bit longer than anyone expected. Even she hadn't thought their friendship would last so long, especially once she saw how different their worlds were. She was getting an idea of what Kordiavis must have gone through as a child born from the dragonless ex-Weyrwoman that dared to befriend the heir of Ista Hold. He had built walls and came across as mean and stand offish yet she always believed he was kind and hurting inside.
But he found a way out of the horrible Hold life and she'd always had an escape route. She didn't need to beg anyone to pack up and relocate--she just had to tell Tazikel she was going home to Ista Weyr and stay there. She used the sheet to wipe away her tears, not worrying about stains this time, and then rolled over to look at the lordling.
He was ridiculously adorable as he slept thanks to the peaceful expression and the way the curls fell in his face. She hated how much she adored the man and when she thought about it too much, it scared her and the R'nd blood in her wanted her to flee. But he was easy to talk with, he always made her laugh, and the sex was fantastic. He was the reason why she put on the dresses, learned names, and smiled through insults flung at her. She didn't want his world; just him.
Walking away would ensure she'd never see him again, despite how much of his world he didn't care for either. She certainly wasn't going to make him choose her over his perfect and lavish life either.
You're a dumb jungle girl in way over your head
She was... she really, really was.
But being a jungle girl meant she also knew how to fight dirty and survive. Running away was exactly what those bitches and many others with their fake smiles wanted. So what did that leave her with? She could give in and learn names, ranks, connections, proper manners, and add layers to her outfits but that would be denying who she was. She could always just punch the ladies the next time she saw them, reminding everyone that she wasn't raised like them and played games a tad a differently. That sounded fun but it wouldn't help the reputation of anyone that actually did like her.
Honestly, she wanted to pretend it didn't happen and to continue on with her illusion that everything was fine. Her reputation and feelings didn't matter to her so long as her family and friends were safe. She had, after all, stepped into the path of a bronze hatchling to keep Ayontay safe after the first bite he received from another one. Perhaps she could find a middle ground.
One thing she enjoyed was gossip and Mylorah had learned that no one amongst the lords and ladies were squeaky clean. If they weren't sleeping with people they shouldn't be with, they were making alliances behind someone's back or plotting the demise of someone else. She could put more effort into being a proper date for a second son with appearance and mannerisms while collecting the right dirt on the ladies currently targeting her. She wasn't one to start rumours or even go for blackmail but a tiny hint of what she might know wouldn't hurt. The men those harpies were after deserved a bit of extra kindness as well. Nothing much; just friendly conversations and genuine smiles. She suspected they were lacking in those.
The song still played in her head--she hated how catchy the tune was-- and the lyrics still hurt as she inched closer to Tazikel to kiss him softly on the cheek. He was a deep sleeper, which was a good thing in that moment. She didn't want him to know she was still up or how upset the night had actually made her as it would just make him angry again or worry and he was far too pretty for worry lines.
As she settled back in against the pillow with the intent to actually try to sleep, Mylorah smiled. She seemed to spend a lot of time living in the head of Holders. Not to mention that she could trace some of the connections back to the Gather two months earlier meaning they had to have spent that long coming up with the song.
I’m a jungle girl, playing in your world
Better deal with it, I don’t give a shit.
ooc: Why yes, I did rewrite a part of Barbie Girl.