[D] Idle thoughts and busy feet

14.10.741

News of my pursuing my Mastery were met with mixed reactions from my parents. Father was glad to see me moving forward with some ambition. Mother, too. Both were puzzled by my wanting to go to Benden’s territories, but that’s not their concern anyways. When I arrive, have settled in, and done some training and studying, then I’ll tell them about Zahrah. I don’t want to deal with more from them on this change at the moment. One thing at a time.

Besides, I still don’t know how or if it will all work out, anyway. She may have got home to her Weyr and decided that I wasn’t worth her time. I can’t say that I’m not used to that, but usually that’s only after a girl realizes that Runners aren’t exactly as wealthy as the holders offering jewels, marks, and a hold of their own. I know that a comfortable bed in a spacious, protected hold is better than a crowded station or small thread shelter, so I can’t blame them for that. They’d enjoyed my company and I theirs, and then we parted ways. No harm no foul.

But Zahrah’s weyrbred. Weyrbred is different. Different mindset, different goals. I think this could go well.


28.10.741

The little package was a lovely surprise to wake up to this morning. Last night’s run was colder than between when I arrived at 168. I barely noticed the lamp, and finally got a chance to look it over this morning before the station master pulled me into his office and handed the other package to me. The little trinket was a welcomed surprise. A delicate little pendant with a spot for glows. Looks a bit like a dragon egg. It’s nice to know that my girl cares for me and Gather wasn’t just a run-weary dream. Can I call her that just yet? My girl? I think I will…

Going through the various stations, numbered or not, with the perspective of gaining my Mastery has given me new insight into what it means to run one. I find myself taking note of the little things, like keeping fresh water available, healing kits stocked, and fresh bed rushes available and ready. Making time to thank the station masters has become a thought foremost in my mind, now, and every chance I get to help at a station, I take. I know I still have much to learn, but I look forward to it.

Shards, it’s cold up north…


02.11.741

The little pendant doesn’t sit easily while Running, so I find myself either holding it or tucking it into the message pouch. It’s a neat little thing, and it helps to help keep me grounded when my mind wanders on the traces. And even though I can’t hardly wear it, it’s still a kind gesture and I am glad of it.

I’m headed south to pass through the mountain range before running up alongside it, between the mountains and the river that runs from Lemos to Keroon Bay. If the weather holds up and doesn’t get too much colder, I should be in northern Keroon by the end of next sevenday. Depending on where I am sent from there, I’ll either cross over connecting through Bitra or south along the coast then up through Benden Hold. From 102 it shouldn’t take longer than another sevenday or two, depending on the route. And I won’t be in the mountains as much, which will make the going a bit easier and smoother.

It will be nice to see old Venan again. He was a kind sort. Last I saw the man he was running 217 close to Crom. That was turns ago, though. I’ll be glad to pick the old man’s mind as he did always seem to be on top of his station.

07.11.741

The skybroom trees are certainly a sight to behold. I’ve been so familiar with the western territories, I’d almost forgotten the sheer enormity of the things. I still can’t help but wonder if the branches could support a dragon if one decided a tree was a reasonable perch…Perhaps I might be able to ask at the Weyr when I get there…I know it seems a silly question, but curiosity begs to be answered.

102 should hold some answers for me…I sent word to Master Venan end of last month of my intentions to train and base myself in the area. I hope to have a letter from him waiting there. He’ll know by now, from the few things I’ve sent to the Weyr, that the place must hold something special to me, and I hope that the idea, if it colors his thoughts, colors them in a shade he finds favorable.


12.11.741

Thank Faranth, master Venan has granted my request to study under him. I’m running a bit ahead of my anticipated schedule, since autumn hasn’t completely settled into winter. We’ll see if that lasts across northern Keroon.

I find myself having to actively think of my training, of pacing myself. I’ll run and lose myself in thought and before I realize it I’m pushing myself to my limits and out of breath. I must slow down. I must run smarter, not harder or faster. But shards, I just want to reach station 42.

No…I want to reach Benden Weyr. I want to see whether or not I’m chasing wild firelizards, with no hope of catching them, or if this whole crossing is actually for something. Excited? Not quite…? Well, perhaps. Nervous? Very much so. The time on the traces has given me much to think about…perhaps I shouldn’t think too hard, though. Trusting my intuition has served me well, so far. Why should I doubt myself now? No…I’ll just keep running, and take the traces as they come.

21.11.741

Great Faranth…

Words cannot accurately describe how bloody damned pleased I am. Zahrah truly is something else. She’s a beautiful woman, with a calm but strong mind, who loves whole-souled, with her head, hard…and body. By the First Egg…you’d think I’d never had sex before, the way she had me going…Honestly I’m a bit surprised (and consider myself very lucky) that she wasn’t already taken…I only hope that she continues to seek my company as I do hers, and intend to do all I can to see that that happens. She truly is a stunning being, and I feel privileged to have found her before someone else snatched her up.

…Which is another funny thought…I don’t want to share her, and I don’t want to share myself. I’ve grown so attached so quickly; I know she is of course not obligated to me in any way…I hate comparing this to anything I’ve had before, because this is in a class all on its own, but with previous women, when our time ended there was never any question as to expectations, and we parted and that was that. I don’t want to part with Zahrah…and it seems she doesn’t want to part with me, either, which is something I can only be grateful for and hope to stay worthy of.

There’s that little thread shelter I saw on my way up…and is that another one up the hill behind it? Hm…if I pick up my pace a touch I can make up the time, I can stop for a look…

hm…it looks like the trace had been rerouted a turn or two back, this shelter doesn’t seem to be in use…I’ll have to ask Venan about that.



23.11.741

I’ve got a LOT of work ahead of me. Master Venan’s shown me the two stations, number 42 and the unnumbered thing he just calls the Weyr trace station. 42 is surprisingly busy, with messages being run between Nerat, Benden, Bitra, Keroon, and out to and from Lemos, in addition to the pouches to and from farther west. My new base is fondly called the ‘crossroads station’ as it sits at the intersection of the major traces for the area, and the main crossroads are visible from the front porch.

Brina, Venan’s granddaughter, no more than sixteen turns on her, is apparently a semi-frequent sight at the stations. She’s ranked at junior apprentice and helps her grandfather with maintenance when not on the traces. She’ a sweet girl. She’s quite fond of Zarel…it seems they cross paths often when she runs pouches to the Weyr. Can’t say that I’m surprised at that.

Venan plans to keep me on closer routes for a while, so that I can learn the routines and tricks for management. He’s given me the Weyr trace station with the thought that it would be a good place to start learning as there isn’t much there to mess up, being that that particular station only sees pouches to and from the Weyr. My primary duties include: 1) trace maintenance, re-mossing the trace when needed by transplanting patches from where he grows the stuff at the back of 42, 2) keeping the station stocked and supplied with necessities such as healer kits, spare clothing and leather and tools for shoe repairs, food and drink, and 3) building maintenance, including the two Thread shelters about ten miles out on either side of it. Granted, Thread isn’t a threat at the moment, but the shelters weren’t so meticulously placed and tended for nothing…I don’t intend to be the one to let them fall into disarray and potentially fail a Runner, even if the stuff doesn’t fall for another twenty turns.

Speaking of thread shelters…there are technically three shelters. I asked Venan about that one I saw in my way back from the Weyr. It had fallen into disuse when the trace was rerouted after a small landslide two winters back. The shelter still stands, but it’s a good quarter mile off the current trace, up on a hill where the unsteady ground made for risky running. It seems stable enough now, but the new trace shortens the route slightly and the moss had taken well, and a new shelter had already been built. I may have an idea for that place…provided Venan grants permission.



27.11.741

I ran to the Weyr again today. Shards, it is good to see Zahrah. I couldn’t stay for more than lunch, but I hope to have another full day or two free soon to stay longer.

On my way back I stopped at the abandoned thread shelter again. It was built well, and is still in surprisingly good shape. Part of the stone roof has caved in, but that wouldn’t take much to repair. This one wasn’t built as much more than a lean-to, only one room with a small hearth. The furniture had been moved to the new one, it seems. Ordinarily it would have a cot, a water basin, a table with dried food provisions, and a chest with a healer kit and an extra set clothing. But this being empty leaves room for me to make alterations…Master Venan has granted me permission to do with it as I see fit, provided I am not doing so during my time allotted for other tasks, and I do not use Runner resources. This is my own project on my own time. I think I’ll start on that roof, first…

04.12.741

Zarel certainly is a sweet thing, all big brown eyes and laughter. I can’t believe she’s nearly eleven, and will soon be able to Stand with her mother. That is, if Zahrah doesn’t Impress within the turn. I must admit, the idea of the two Impressing together is a bit of romanticized fancy…mother and daughter Impressing in the same clutch…If they Impress at all. While Zarel would make an impressive Runner should she choose that trace, I dearly hope she does Impress. She will make a fantastic dragonrider. Zahrah, though…I must admit, while I appreciate and respect her desire to Impress, and any dragon would be lucky to have her, a part of me hopes she doesn’t…I’d be happy to welcome a dragon, but a part of me wants to keep Zahrah to myself. The thought of needing to share her with a dragon, and with a Weyr, in more than a few ways…

We talked about Flights, and the need of keeping a dragon satisfied, should they be chased or give chase. As much as the thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, I know it would be a necessity should she Impress. We weren’t able to get into the specifics of things, as an announcement came that a clutch is expected on the sands at Fort, and the conversation turned to other things. Ah well. No matter. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

The little cothold is coming along nicely. I’ll expand it some, open up the space. There’s a hillside behind that can be carved into once the ground softens in the spring. It will make the perfect place to create a sunning spot for any pair of wings that may be welcomed into our lives, whether those wings be bound to Zahrah or Zarel. Or both, someday…



13.12.741

Met myself another green rider on my way south. He was an…interesting sort. Friendly. Talkative. Informative. And certainly not shy. I was able to get a bit more information on Flights, and what that means for a rider, and for others who are close to them. I’m glad that it seems to be a physical event rather than an emotional connection to the rider of the winning beast. It seems they just part ways afterwards, and call it a day. Or evening. Or…whatever. Not unlike nights I myself have participated in, in the past. A simple, mutually beneficial occurrence that means nothing more than satisfying a particular need. At least, that’s what I tell myself. On the bright side of things, it seems that I might be able to take advantage of it, myself, if Zahrah does Impress…should she attach herself to a pair of wings, the feeling of flight lust can have some…lingering effects that I might find appealing, so I suppose it isn’t all bad. Of course, I wouldn’t dream of taking advantage if she were compromised, but if the feeling lends itself, and if she’d feel up for it…should she Impress, of course.

Faranth, so much rides on that ‘if’, doesn’t it?

Regardless, though, I still do love her dearly. It will work out.

I’m continuing farther south, and am looking forward to some time on the Nerat peninsula. Venan has me researching the various managers and Masters along the way, and I am glad of it. It’s interesting to see the different styles and methods, and I have found a few tricks that I intend to use, myself, and implement as best I can at forty-two with the good Master V.


16.12.741

I sent a letter to my sister. It’s been a while, to be sure. I haven’t said anything about Zahrah, since, while I still know that I plan to build a life with her, it’s still a bit hazy until she either Impresses or ages out of being able to stand on the sands. So, for now, I’ve updated her on my mastery studies and how Venan has been using my talents. I’m looking forward to heading home in a few weeks, and am eager to try and get my little ‘trainer station’ running as smoothly as I can. It does see a few Runners back and forth from the Weyr, and if I can prove that I can run it well, Venan will allow me more duties at forty-two.



17.12.741

A beautiful blue, as deep as the sea it came from and as vibrant as the eyes of the woman it’s to be given to. It may not be much, but the tiny piece of sea glass is perfect. I’ll need to have it set in a ring, and then…to see if she’ll have me.

This is it. I’m going to ask her. I don’t know if she’ll have me, I’d like to think she will. And so far, we’ve been of like mind, especially regarding each other. But who knows, for sure. I won’t know until I ask…



22.12.741

She said yes.

I am both overjoyed and terrified. I find myself caring more and more deeply about this woman every day, and don’t want to be without her in my life. If I must share her with a dragon, so be it. It is her wish, and who am I to stifle that?

We’ve got some time to ourselves, yet…The current clutch on the sands at Fort does not have a gold, and while my sister will be able to Stand, Zahrah will not, as Fort seems to have…something…against outside women standing for their eggs unless a gold is expected. Another clutch is to be laid soon, though, and we’ll see what that brings.

Until then, I’l continue working on our home, and continue working with Venan. Timetables are his current subject of study, as he’s helping me go over how quickly word from Fort can get to Benden on foot. As I have the inside information of someone within the Weyr, it’s interesting to compare just how close the timeframes are. I’ve got some ideas on how things could be improved…



06.01.742

The second clutch at Fort is now on the sands, and among it, a gold egg. Zahrah will be attending the Hatching as a candidate, Standing for the gold egg. She’s expected to leave within the next several weeks. In the meantime, we’re going to try and make the most of our time together. We’re making plans for the ‘what if’s’, as to how things will be handled.

Should Zahrah Impress, Zarel will stay with me here in Benden until the dragon’s initial drastic growth phase is over, which according to Zahrah, is typically around the three to four month mark. Also, if she Impresses, her things will need to be moved cross-continent to the other Weyr, as she’ll be required to stay at Fort. Apparently there is some sort of deal involving the Healer Hall that requires women who Impress to stay and learn the craft, with the idea of being ‘more useful to the Weyr’ in mind. I understand the idea behind it, but must admit that I find the other part of this…agreement…to be a bit much. They’ve also required that female riders pledge to Fort. One would think, that if riders are trained in a craft, it would be a good idea to have them spread across Pern…not hoarded in one Weyr…but I’m no rider, and no Weyrleader. Nor do I pretend to be. I only hope that, should my love Impress, that I’d be able to see her back here, back home again someday.

01.02.742

It’s a bittersweet evening spent in Zahrah’s much more empty rooms here at Benden. Zarel’s curled against my side, asleep, with Handsome nestled in the crook of her arm. Zahrah has left for Fort, and it will be at least a week or more before we see her again.

I freely admit, tears fell. I’m not fond of any kind of goodbye, particularly to those I love. I guess we’ll wait, then, and see what this clutch brings. I wish it were over already. I just want her back home, though she’s only just left…


09.02.742

It’s been several days since the letter from Zahrah. There seems to be a dark cloud over this hatching already…an egg was crushed at the touching. Poor thing… I cannot help but think Ryn’s lost child…what my sister must be going through with those memories doubtlessly coming to the surface. I hope the rest of events go smoothly, and I eagerly await the message beckoning us to go to Fort.

I’ve arranged a ride with a lovely green rider who’s agreed to take us for the Hatching. She’s a friend of Zarel’s, in a way. She’s involved with the older brother of Zarel’s little friend, Taydarell. Sweet girl, she is. She’s also agreed to keep an eye on Zarel when I’m down at the station, as I can’t Run up every day, and can’t generally stay at the Weyr for more than a day at a time, though I try to stay most nights, even if it does mean more running back and forth to forty-two.



14.02.742

My fiancé and my sister are both, now, officially dragonriders, and I couldn’t be more proud. Ryn is now happily bonded to a delightful little green, Jenath…a fighter, like she’s always been.

And Zahrah…

Zahrah is now rider of Gold Sedath.

Deserving, to be sure. And well earned. The way the creature pouted on the sands, waiting to be announced, if anyone can handle that handful, it’s Zahrah.

So, she’ll be staying at Fort. For Faranth knows how long. I’ll need to make arrangements for her things to be taken to Fort, and for Zarel to come back, too, once Sedath starts to slow in her growth. I don’t know that Zahrah will ever be able to return to Benden, now, either…to her home, to our home…the little cothold may be empty for quite some time. And, realistically, a gold will never reside there. A gold is there to serve the Weyr. To produce more dragons. To guide and lead along with the bronzes. The life that we’d planned is now char in the wind, and I find myself desperately trying to catch it, watching helplessly as it slips through my fingers…do dragonriders even handfast?

I am thrilled that Zahrah has finally achieved her dream, more than she imagined, and also terrified…that what we’ve built could be over. I suppose I’ll find out at some point…



19.02.742

I am not cut out for this.

Zarel somehow managed to snag herself a bronze firelizard and, rather than being thrilled, is utterly distraught. Apparently it was intended for her little candidate friend, but he was in the privy? I love the child as my own, but I am decidedly not a father…I have no idea what to do with this…

I’ve sent a letter off to Zahrah, though Faranth knows if she’ll have time to read it…

For now, though, I suppose I’ll make sure the thing stays fed and provide oil for the creature’s hide. And try to console the poor girl. Accidents happen, and I hope her friend sees that, as an accident this no doubt was. I’ll speak to the candidate master and try to explain the situation to see what I might need to do to resolve it…