[G] [C] 732.12.12 | Forces of Reality [Talian]

B'jin slipped out of the room of the last blueriders-to-be, and rolled his shoulders, frowning slightly. He was up to date on all the new Weyrlings, now, with their names - both rider and dragoent - and had checked over each of the new dragonets, being sure of their physical conformation as well as getting Larrikith (for the most part) to converse with the babies to make sure nothing was immediately wrong with the youngsters mentally. B'jin was somewhat wary of losing a member of his little class to the same defect that had taken some of the earlier weyrlings, or losing them between when it came to such a time, for whatever reason. He had no intention to loose any of his class.

Especially the member of the final door, as B'jin pushed the door open lightly and stepped within. Sad eyes took in the dragonet, before shifting to the sleeping form of his self-assigned son. B'jin's eyebrows drew together unhappily, the frown lines on Talian's forehead standing out starkly. It was easy to see the young man had fallen asleep less than pleased. B'jin sighed sadly and stepped lightly across the room, getting Larrikith to contact the young dragonet and - if he wasn't already aware of their presence - to explain to him why they were there. B'jin perched lightly on the end of the bed, peering at his son, and the dragonet the kid was wrapped around with a blank expression.

They are cute together, Larrikith put in quietly, to B'jin alone, as she shared his sight to peer at the young pair.

FIRST TAG OF THE NEW YEAR :D

I assume he was curled up with Khaduceth rather than sleeping in the bed himself. I can edit if you'd prefer <3

Talian hadn't slept well. By the time he staggered away from the hatching sands and into his new barrack, the reality of the situation sank in, flinging him headfirst into a whirlwind of confusion and mixed feelings. He'd slumped helplessly next to Khaduceth as the little dragon awkwardly made his way into his bed, soothed by the dragon's obvious and deep concern for him but paralyzed with fear just the same. How could this have happened?

What followed was a fitful few hours of stress and tenuous reassurances. Talian had always been difficult to console when he was upset, but Khaduceth seemed to know exactly what to do, his gentle words and quiet reassurances almost parental in their sweetness and perfection. They were so perfect, in fact, that Talian hardly felt like he was speaking to anything less than a companion of many turns, and certainly not something that had only been born that very morning!

Still, it was hard. Talian found himself already hopelessly attached to the beast, clinging to him for reassurance and yet scorning him just the same. Khaduceth was patient, understanding that he'd pushed himself on someone who didn't want him, or at least didn't realize that he wanted him. Talian, in Khaduceth's estimation, needed rescuing. The healer's underlying need for the perfect love of a dragon was all Khaduceth needed to justify his choice.

Talian figured he was right, because no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hate the dragon. Again all his previous imaginings and inclinations, he fell asleep tangled with the creature, arms looped gently around his neck. Fellis was there was well, curled neatly on Talian's side like a little blue ornament.

When B'jin arrived, Fellis was the first to notice him. The fire lizard lifted it's head and gave off the softest purr, eyes flushing blue. Daddy's daddy was here! He always made things better, yes? The fire lizard stood gently, peeping a nervous greeting to B'jin.

Talian didn't stir, but Khaduceth did. The dragonet, almost as sleep deprived as his new bonded, opened his shining eyes and observed B'jin quietly. Finding himself curious, Khaduceth reached out to the man to learn what he could. Unsurprised with what he found lingering only on the surface, he quickly withdrew. So B'jin didn't like him, either. Talian loved Khaduceth for sure, he he didn't like him....yet!

The brown exhaled softly. He could sense Talian slowly starting to stir beside him. Khaduceth unraveled one awkward wing and rested it over Talian's side, unintentionally pinning Fellis. The fire lizard cheeped in surprise and wriggled free, his cold paws pecking lightly at Talian's neck as he did so. That was enough to wake the boy, who roused slowly and reluctantly, for he was utterly exhausted.

"Hmm...Val?" he said lightly, still too asleep to realize what he was saying.  He opened his eyes to instead see one blue eye looking back at him, and jumped. Shards! The dragon wasn't a dream! Talian blanched, looking at Khaduceth for a few long, awkward moments, not yet aware of B'jin's presence.

Khaduceth broke the awkwardness by running his tongue over the boy's face. Talian yelped and spat, alarmed. Khaduceth rumbled softly and nosed at him, knowing that beneath that surprised reaction, the healer kind of wanted to laugh. Talian snorted and shoved his nose away in an act of obvious denial. Khaduceth rumbled again, gently pulling his wing away to allow the boy to get up.

Talian sat up and twisted around, gently taking Khaduceth's wing and helping the baby dragon fold it. Obviously Khaduceth could have done it himself, but probably without much grace. "There you go," Talian said in his bedside voice, usually reserved for patients. The dragonet's eyes whirled happily.

Turn around he said, nosing at Talian again. The boy frowned and turned around, eyes widening suddenly when he saw B'jin.

"Oh....Dad..." Talian said lightly. He pressed his back against Khaduceth's side and held his hands out for Fellis, who promptly crawled into them and wrapped himself into a ball. Talian looked down, almost ashamed to look up at B'jin, though he couldn't exactly place why. Maybe it was because he didn't know what to say.

There were so many things he could say. 'I told you so', 'I hope your leaders are happy now', 'so much for my career', 'so much for ever going home'...But none of it seemed to matter anymore. Instead, he just held Fellis close and pressed himself against the sturdy brown dragonet and sighed. Khaduceth wrapped his neck around, resting it lightly in Talian's lap beside Fellis. Tal shifted Fellis to a single hand and started to lovingly pat the dragonet's nose.

"I don't know what to do."

B'jin watched the interaction as Talian slowly regained consciousness and became aware of his surroundings with a slight frown, narrowed gaze occasionally flicking to the dragon, but for the most part the greenrider was focused completely on his young Healer. The murmur of Valerian's name had caused B'jin to flinch slightly, his nose scrunching up unhappily as the simple word caused the greenrider's mind to tumble with uncomfortable memories. Ugh! Larrikith giggled mischievously in the back of his mind, but B'jin did his best to ignore her. Bloody dragons!

"Hello, Talian," B'jin returned the soft greeting with a low voice, eyes searching Talian's features for a deeper hint to the young man's current feelings on the situation in which he'd ended up. The greenrider wasn't quite sure what to make of it himself, and was unable to quite hide his distrust and lack of delight with the colour of Khaduceth's hide. Sure, the dragonet could have been a green which B'jin knew without any doubt would have completely destroyed Talian. The poor young man didn't need the stress of being a greenrider on top of being toppled into the world of dragonriders. If nothing else, at least he was spared the horror B'jin had been thrown into.

B'jin tilted his head slightly to one side, and gave Talian a humorous smile. "That's why I'm here." B'jin shifted forward, sliding off the bed and sitting cross legged on the floor before Talian and his little collection of draconics. The problem, was, B'jin wasn't quite sure where to start with helping Talian, because unlike his other students, this was Talian, and he was supposed to be keeping him from this awful fate, away from the dragonets. But even if he'd managed to talk D'ren out of putting Talian on the Sands, B'jin knew with the current events, S'kef would have taken a sadistic delight in putting the boy in the centre of the Sands, and making B'jin watch.

"What is your dragon's name?" Larrikith could have told him, obviously, but B'jin would rather hear it from Talian's lips, and he'd always made a point of getting Larrikith to respect the young man. It was only fair to continue that now that Talian had a dragon of his own.

The young man's eyes said everything his lips did not; the anger, hurt, betrayal, disbelief, and dread were all visible, mingled lightly but distinctly behind his otherwise exhausted expression. He hung his head for a long moment, the soft stroking halted as he looked into his new partner's eyes. Talian muttered a single word in response, but his throat was tight and his voice weak, and the word was lost.

He cleared his throat. "Khaduceth," he said, looking up at B'jin and giving him a rather pathetic smile, part of an even more pathetic effort to look all right. Talian wanted very much to be happy. He didn't like this strange, grating feeling of disjointed emotions. He didn't like not knowing how to feel about things, and the same horrible uncertainty that followed his every move at Katila was stalking him yet again. He was supposed to love this dragon, right? It was supposed to be some sort of freaky perfect bond, right?

Shards, it really was. Talian was so shocked by his dragonet's complete and total acceptance of him that it almost made him uncomfortable; he was waiting to find out what the catch was! No one had ever been so perfectly accepting and more important, empathetic. Talian wasn't good at communicating his feelings, and many of his frustrations in life stemmed from others being unable to understand the things he tried to tell them. It didn't help that Val attempted to appear as an emotional wasteland and B'jin was about as oblivious as a headless wherry most of the time! Talian loved them completely, albeit in different ways, and while he trusted them both with his life and everything in it, well...this was something completely new.

Khaduceth yawned softly, his consciousness hovering a respectful distance form Talian's. The dragonet had a subtle touch, something Tal appreciated very much. For the first few hours, he'd been so lost in the bond that he could hardly tell his own thoughts from his partner's! Things had calmed down now, and both partners had managed to wade through the initial confusion and find a bit of their own voice again.

Talian swallowed hard. "This wasn't supposed to happen," he said, unclear whether he was speaking to B'jin, Khaduceth, or both. I'm sorry Khaduceth said with perfect civility, eyes flashing yellow for the briefest of moments. Tal quickly shushed him, stroking his nose once more and sighing. "It's...no, don't say that..." he mumbled, feeling a pang of guilt for upsetting his dragonet. He loved the damn thing already. He loved him, but as Khaduceth had figured,d he just didn't like him.

Khaduceth's eyes settled into a calmer shade of green as he nosed Talian's hand. I will make it up to you he promised, sounding perfectly confident in his claim. He could tell how badly his new bondmate needed someone like him. He knew it, he could feel it..But Talian was a human, and he could not. He would eventually, the dragonet just reminded himself calmly to remain patient. A slight purring sound escaped him as Talian's petting continued.

"You better," Talian groaned. Khaduceth just rumbled again, trying to reassure his poor, sad companion. As grumpy as Talian was, though, he did find the dragon's touch oddly soothing, and the utter patience and inner strength to be admirable indeed. Oh, how frustrating! He was just like B'jin: the cause of everything, and yet too amazing to hate!

The healer looked back to B'jin, a frown falling easily into place on his face. "I don't want to be a dragonrider, B'jin," he said, revealing only one of his many misgivings, knowing that most of them would be evident enough to his adoptive father. Thankful for the closeness, Talian leaned forward; he didn't dare actually scoot and rouse Khaduceth too much. The dragonet offered a silent invitation for Talian to do just that, however, and Talian found himself in the odd position of having to choose.

He frowned again. Stupid dragon.

"I don't know how to be a dragonrider. I won't be a good dragonrider. I..." he mumbled, trying to think of something to say about the horrible situation without going on a rant. He didn't have the energy for the rants anymore, and B'jin had heard it all. Khaduceth, however, had not. The dragonet raised his head, poking intently into Talian's brain as the memories floated to the surface. This gesture, the significance of which was lost on Talian, freed the boy to pitch himself forward and hug B'jin.

Poor Fellis was spilled unceremoniously onto the floor. Much like a canine, he immediately began to chitter in apology, as if he was at fault. Talian cursed softly and spun around, gathering the fire lizard into one arm and hugging him apologetically while the other arm wrapped around B'jin's waist.

"But I guess I'm going to be, aren't I?" the healer said in heavy resignation. A dragonrider after all, despite all his efforts to avoid this very fate. He let out a cruel, nervous laugh and buried his face in B'jin's neck. "I guess it is what it is. At least I..." he paused, though, not quite able to 'put a positive spin' on it as his few friends so often suggested he do. 'Thinking positive' was for idiots.

Talian pulled his face back and sighed. "...I love him, though. I can't sharding help it!"

Khaduceth chirped, eyes flashing blue.

"I know, Tal," B'jin finally spoke, his voice low and soft. He had said nothing in the time since he had asked the dragonet's name, watching quietly the interaction between his son and the young brown hatchling. It was interesting, and the more he watched, the gentler B'jin's otherwise stoic expression became. The pair obviously had a relationship - a bond - that he did not share with Larrikith, and that caused B'jin far more relief than he had been anticipating. It meant his son, whom had stepped unwillingly and un-wantingly onto the sands because he had been forced, would not suffer the dreadful bonding he had created with Larrikith -- or that she had created with him, more accurately.

"Don't worry about it," it wasn't worth worrying about, not right then. There were far too many other things to worry about, like keeping his little Khaduceth well-oiled and clean and fed and growing well. Those were things B'jin knew Talian could do, could handle, and would not fail at. He could see it from the way the boy had handled his firelizard, and the way he clung to the dragonet despite his objections. There was love there, and affection, and Talian would get past his sulking and come to love the brown dragonet, even if he would always resent the people that caused the bond; he would never blame Khaduceth for it.

"Yeah," B'jin murmured, though he wasn't really sure what the answer was to, or even if he was truly answering the boy. He would have to be a dragonrider now, but in reality, what were they? They were outcasts and hideaways living in secret. What kind of dragonrider was that? Where once they were proud and respected... B'jin's nose scrunched up slightly and he gave an unhappy little shrug. "It could be worse," He offered softly, looking at Talian from under his lashes as he raised his knees, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his chest.

Oh, it could be ever so much worse. He could resent his dragon, hate him, and that would do nothing but make it all so much worse. B'jin didn't really think of those things, or even realise that was why he was smiling softly - Talian wouldn't suffer the terrible life he'd lead with Larrikith, and that was good - but mostly B'jin was smiling with the dry irony, because it would be so much worse if - "Khaduceth could have been green." Eyebrows arched slightly, almost playfully, but it was more a slight at himself than anything else.

B'jin shrugged. "It's better that you do." Again, B'jin wasn't even thinking about his own relationship with his own dragon; he was focused far more heavily on how much better Talian's life would be if he did love his dragonet, and how worried he had been that the bond the boy ended up with would be a bad influence on him. That didn't mean B'jin approved of Khaduceth, he didn't, and he certainly didn't think his boy needed a dragonet (or a brown one to boot!) but what was done was done, and B'jin knew that bitching about a bond would do no one any good what so ever. Khaduceth was not given his blessing, and B’jin didn’t trust the stocky little beast not to ruin his son – but there wasn’t actively anything he could do about it.

"Just," - just what? B'jin's nose scrunched up even as Larrikith’s conscious brushed against him and the greenrider raked his fingers back through his hair brushing it once more away from his face as he tilted his head and offered Talian a dry look. He didn't even know what he was trying to say any more. Bloody dragonets! An irritable sideways look was sent to the tiny brown, despite Larrikith's disproving poke at B'jin, and he shrugged.

"Shit happens, kid."

Talian squeezed B'jin and sighed. His old concerns continued to swirl around in his head, and his usual resignation was blended with an odd soothing that came from Khaduceth. It was strange. Optimism wasn't in Talian's nature and he didn't like it. He didn't like cheeriness and 'look on the bright side' attitudes. Khaduceth wasn't quite that, though. Instead of cheerfully optimistic, the dragon was sturdy and quietly reassuring. He wasn't interested in telling Talian to think differently or to change to adapt to a situation he didn't want to be in. Khaduceth wanted Talian to remain quietly comfortable with himself; something Talian always tried to do, but sometimes lacked the strength for.

He sighed, looking up to B'jin and managing a dry smile of his own. Shit did indeed happen. "When it rains, it pours," Talian replied, answering one well-used adage with another. He glanced over at Khaduceth, having a hard time imagining his attitude being any different if the little bastard was a green. The dragonet's eyes danced, amused at the sheer silliness of the idea. He is incorrect the dragonet said with precision and poise. I could not have been a green. I am a male.

Talian groaned. "I don't think that's what he meant," he replied over his shoulder, causing Khaduceth to tilt his head to one side in amusement. Talian couldn't tell if the little beast was overly-literal or heavily sarcastic, but either one felt fine and natural. How weird. It was like the universe crafted the damn thing just for him.

The healer looked back at B'jin and let his head rest against the man. Fellis climbed down to the floor and crept over to Khaduceth, sniffing.  "He insists he couldn't have been a green," Talian explained, figuring it was rude to break the conversation for a moment and not explain why. He didn't realize his father's mistrust for browns, and he didn't think about how his words might sound, either.

Behind him, Khaduceth lowered his snout and bumped it against Fellis, knocking the little beast onto his haunches and earning a squeak from him. Khaduceth rumbled softly and nosed his little brother reassuringly, quickly earning a flurry of kisses on the end of his snout. Fellis was obviously taken with the brown dragonet, and Khaduceth had taken to him tenderly. In spite of his youth, the dragon seemed to place himself firmly as the fire lizard's superior and protector. Talian was pleased with this, as it seemed to soothe Fellis as much as it soothed him. Khaduceth was like the best blanket ever. And a stress ball, too.

Talian liked it when he did that. It was almost like the touch of a healer.

"Be careful with him, okay? He's my little friend," Talian whispered to the dragon, though his face was still very much buried in B'jin. Or was he talking to B'jin, and about Khaduceth? I would never harm him Khaduceth said moments after, his smooth  voice making Talian feel unexpectedly warm. Between B'jin and his new partner, Talian felt like even in the face of his greatest fear, nothing could harm him.

"Thank you for coming," Talian said, wiping his eyes before the puddles turned into tears. He detached himself, looking sweetly at his father and slipping into a cross-legged position to match. "I just...it's been a crazy day," he said, rubbing his forehead. His mixed expression but relaxed posture said it all without saying anything; he wasn't happy about his future, but he felt a lot better about facing it. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I told someone special not long ago that it's almost scary to think about not being brought here, because then I wouldn't have met you..."

Just think...he might have never met B'jin.  Or Valerian.  Or Khaduceth. They were all so much better than what he'd left behind. In a fucked up way, even Fellis was worth it. The fire lizard chirped and disappeared from the floor, reappearing to neatly alight himself on Talian's shoulder, having sensed the loving emotions rolling off of him. Khaduceth sensed them as well, and eagerly got up and crawled the few feet to put his head in the boy's lap, like it had always belonged there. Talian smiled down at him and stroked his nose.

"I'm going to try really hard, B'jin," he promised softly. "For all of you, okay?"

Larrikith laughed, B’jin could hear the soft tinkling sound of her amusement in the back of his mind. He, for his part, was less than amused by the dragonet’s response – or the version he was given by Talian, at any rate. While dragonets were a far cry from quiet in their speech, B’jin was far from empathic and generally missed even directly aimed comments. Larrikith was the only dragon he tolerated with any ease and that was a force of her presence being unable to be recalled. Ayyonth was welcome enough, though B’jin enjoyed the respectful nature the blue had and that he didn’t poke around too often in his brain. In contrast, B’jin was pretty sure Veeth enjoyed startling him as much as Larrikith enjoyed torturing him.

“Of course he couldn’t,” B’jin drawled, giving the dragonet a dirty look over Talian’s shoulder as he returned the gentle hug, eyeing the firelizard distrustfully, but when push came to shove, Fellis was far the lesser of two evils. At least the little beast had the decency to be a nice blue! Another disgruntled look was shot at Khaduceth, but B’jin made no comment as the beast slobbered all over Fellis like a hungry hound. His attention refocused on Talian as the young man spoke, and B’jin turned away from dragon and firelizard dismissively.

“Of course,” B’jin murmured, looking slightly surprised that Talian might even consider B’jin wouldn’t come.  Besides the fact that B’jin was rather fond of the young healer, it was currently his job to make sure the kid was okay. He wasn’t even giving special treatment, with the cosy cuddles! One of the young greenriders had thrown himself at the poor greenrider, sobbing and crying about the Impression. This was more comfortable, granted, but B’jin was pleased he wouldn’t pegged for special treatment!

“Yeah…” B’jin gave a half grimace, half smile and shrugged slightly. “Blame Larrikith,” B’jin teased, tossing Talian a wink as the green dragon in question squeaked softly in objection and peered in through the window, her eyes swirling with playful irritation. Sure, blame me! Larrikith said, indignant but amused and B’jin shrugged slightly. He didn’t bother to point out if she’d never Impressed him, none of them would be in this situation! “Who else would I blame, love?” He asked instead, rhetorical and smug. Larrikith did a very good impression of rolling her eyes as she gave a snort, fogging up the window and then rumbling in amused irritation when she realised she couldn’t see. Deciding to save time and effort, Larrikith used B’jin’s eyes.

The greenrider smiled softly, doing a very good job of not twitching when both Khaduceth and Fellis crept far too close to his personal space, and gave Talian a soft pat on the knee furthest from the brown monstrosity (That’s not very nice!) and then leaned back against the bed. “Just do your best, Tal,” B’jin said gently, shrugging slightly with a small smile. “What more can anyone expect?” And anyone that expected more would get an earful of B’jin … probably when he was buffed up with extra attitude by Larrikith being proddy, but that was cool. B’jin would take what he could. Anyone giving any of his kids issue would wind up getting an earful, even if he had to go and find a hoard of blueriders to back him up.

The best bit was, he actually had half an army these days!

Talian gave B'jin one final squeeze before releasing him. The boy's eyes were heavy from lack of sleep and his face was etched with worry lines, but B'jin had done much to soothe his nerves. As much as Talian loved his new dragon, B'jin had helped where even Khaduceth had not. The dragonet didn't mind the thought, for he knew that while his human needed him, he needed human contact as well. When Khaduceth himself was the source of the anxiety, it only made sense that he couldn't do much to soothe it. Khaduceth was thankful for B'jin, but he knew his bonded would come around. It was destiny.

"Thanks, Dad," Talian said. He didn't elaborate or explain himself.  He just smiled, one of the most real and genuine smiles he'd produced for B'jin in quite a while. The thank you was for more than just the visit, though. It was a thank you for everything; the care, the support, the fun, and even the sorrow. B'jin was possibly the first real friend Talian had ever had. Who would think that someone like that would have come to him from the sky?

He looked down at the little brown head resting softly in his lap. Tal's hand continued to move across the smooth hide, and a soft laugh escaped when Khaduceth let out a sweet little rumbling purr. Fellis cheeped and poked his snout in the front of Talian's shirt before siding down, situating himself in his favorite spot with his head poking out. Now thoroughly covered in draconics, Talian turned and gave B'jin a flat, humorous look.

"These dragons suck," Talian said, obviously not meaning it. When he looked down at Khaduceth, he had a hard time imagining how he'd hated them so much before. His hatred of the Weyr itself remained intact, but how could he hate the little dragonet curled up next to him? He was a walking nightmare, and yet blameless in his perfection. sigh.

"I think I need to get some sleep," Talian said apologetically. He smiled at B'jin and unwound himself from his creatures, gingerly setting Fellis down on top of Khaduceth before giving B'jin another hug. Fellis crooned and paced in a few small circles before settling down into a little blue ball to doze. Khaduceth rested patiently beneath him. Talian seated himself on the edge of the bed. "I love you." All of you.

B’jin smiled gently, watching Talian and his little club of critters with mild amusement, though there was a glint of pride in there somewhere. He was proud of Talian, of how the boy was holding up under all the weight that had been dropped on his narrow shoulders. The boy was doing so much better than he had done, all those turns ago, when the same weight had been thrown at him. But B’jin was well aware that Talian was infinitely more mature than B’jin had ever been at his age. It was proven, in the gentle and adoring manner Talian handled his dragon, and the little firelizard.

“You’ll do just fine,” B’jin said lightly, placing a kiss on the crown on Talian’s head as the young man gave him another hug, letting him go at the same moment as a soft laugh whispered free from between B’jin’s lips. “Every chance you get, Tal, for the next month at least.” A teasing smile was given, amused. Dragonets were notorious for being awake at exactly the wrong time, in every wrong moment. It would take both Hatchling and young rider to get the hang of what was up and down. B’jin was dreading it. They only had to put up with their partner. B’jin would need to be awake and functioning every moment a pair needed him, and he was pretty sure they’d think up some obscure schedule so he was just as sex and sleep deprived as they would be for the next eight or nine months. Joy.

Hardly, Larrikith purred sweetly, a devious air to her voice that caused B’jin to cock his head slightly. I will still Fly… B’jin groaned. That’s just what he needed, Larrikith taking flight between his classes. That would be wonderful indeed. “Joy,” B’jin grumbled, before smiling at Talian. “I will let you sleep, while my dragon thinks up ways to destroy my attempts to educate you all. Give a yell if you need either of us, m’kay?” Smiling again, B’jin stood up carefully, stepping over and around Khaduceth as he made his way to the door, and out. He needed a bath, and then wine. Lots and lots of wine...