Hello loves! While I haven't been writing, I have been working on updating some issues that have been hanging around on the layout! The Character change box is now at the bottom of the page, beside the up/down arrows! Green and Gold dragon flight dates have been shifted to the bottom of the page, where the (useless!) discord widget was located. Where the dragon flights were in the header, is now replaced by a Monthly Event box! This will be updated at the start of each month, with a fun mini-event you can take part in, if you want to! Thistle!
24.May.20, 02:17 AM
741.04.21
I’m done. There’s no possible way to continue on the traces. I can’t believe they decided my future before I was even there to talk to about it. It is MY life, after all…I can’t marry that holder…I don’t even remember his name. No, I can’t. It would take me from Running. It would take me from the traces. It would put me in his Hold and in his bed. I can’t do that. I can’t…I can’t risk another child. My boy was just too painful, and…Oh, shards…I just…I don’t want to lose more. I don’t want any more babies to possibly die. And I don’t want to maybe die…I thought my parents still wanted to wait…did they forget?! Or am I just too odd for them to deal with anymore -Me, a woman, able to outpace over half the men on the traces in a distance race- so it’s worth the risk? But then again, they don’t know about my child, only that I ‘have issues’…Either way, I can’t go back to that. I can’t surrender to that. I can’t resign myself to a fishing hold, so far away from anything I’ve ever known and loved…I have to keep moving. I have to…I have to Run…I have to…just…run…
741.04.22
I am a candidate. That’s that. I am no longer a Runner. No, no I mustn’t cry over that. I can still run, just not as part of the Craft. I wasn’t going any further there, anyway. I’m still surprised I had made Jr. Journeyman. There was no more room for advancement of my sex. That was made abundantly clear. But now…Here I am, sprawled out on a bed in Fort Weyr. I’m to meet the Weyrwoman soon, D’hys says…I guess I was a bit over enthusiastic and may have jumped where I should have stepped, because the female candidates…the *other* female candidates—gotta include myself in there now, that will take some getting used to-had to go through Healer training. I guess I can understand the necessity, but if they’re ALL going through that training, I don’t see it making sense…if there are nothing but Healers, where can a Harper be found if they be needed? Or a Cook? Or a Tailor? Or a...Runner…? I guess I think that everyone has a place to be useful, and everyone’s areas of talent should be used…But then again I am no Weyrwoman…could I ever be? No matter. D’hys said he has an idea of how things might be able to work out, but he has to speak to Rha..Rhae..?…the Weyrwoman first.
I will miss my family—well, some of them. I will miss Alekse. How I wish he'd been there when I slid down off of Edath! Thank the Dawn Sisters that I have Rudi. Alekse is only a note away with him. And Meri, the sweet girl. I’ll miss her, too. She will be a good station manager. She had my bag packed for me within minutes of my declaration of being a candidate, and she had the warmest smile and gives the best hugs. Mother cried, but part of me thinks she is just relieved that I am gone and no longer tainting the station with my singleness or by practicing the craft intended for men. She really didn’t know how to work with me…father was the one who was upset. He turned such a fierce shade of red that his face could have been mistaken for the Red Star of old…If D’hys and R’dal hadn’t been there, I think he might have locked me away. Nah, I would have outpaced him. He’s not much of a sprinter anymore and his endurance wanes quickly now, and even though he won’t admit it, he’s far less sure-footed than his younger turns. No, I’d have gotten away. That poor holder boy was still there, too. I do feel bad for him. He was only looking for a good little wife to come home to after his fishing trips. Perhaps he can find a girl at the next Gather.
I should try to sleep. It’s been a very long day that feels like it’s lasted a lifetime…sleep will be good for me. I know hope I don’t wake to find this was all a dream…
I’m done. There’s no possible way to continue on the traces. I can’t believe they decided my future before I was even there to talk to about it. It is MY life, after all…I can’t marry that holder…I don’t even remember his name. No, I can’t. It would take me from Running. It would take me from the traces. It would put me in his Hold and in his bed. I can’t do that. I can’t…I can’t risk another child. My boy was just too painful, and…Oh, shards…I just…I don’t want to lose more. I don’t want any more babies to possibly die. And I don’t want to maybe die…I thought my parents still wanted to wait…did they forget?! Or am I just too odd for them to deal with anymore -Me, a woman, able to outpace over half the men on the traces in a distance race- so it’s worth the risk? But then again, they don’t know about my child, only that I ‘have issues’…Either way, I can’t go back to that. I can’t surrender to that. I can’t resign myself to a fishing hold, so far away from anything I’ve ever known and loved…I have to keep moving. I have to…I have to Run…I have to…just…run…
741.04.22
I am a candidate. That’s that. I am no longer a Runner. No, no I mustn’t cry over that. I can still run, just not as part of the Craft. I wasn’t going any further there, anyway. I’m still surprised I had made Jr. Journeyman. There was no more room for advancement of my sex. That was made abundantly clear. But now…Here I am, sprawled out on a bed in Fort Weyr. I’m to meet the Weyrwoman soon, D’hys says…I guess I was a bit over enthusiastic and may have jumped where I should have stepped, because the female candidates…the *other* female candidates—gotta include myself in there now, that will take some getting used to-had to go through Healer training. I guess I can understand the necessity, but if they’re ALL going through that training, I don’t see it making sense…if there are nothing but Healers, where can a Harper be found if they be needed? Or a Cook? Or a Tailor? Or a...Runner…? I guess I think that everyone has a place to be useful, and everyone’s areas of talent should be used…But then again I am no Weyrwoman…could I ever be? No matter. D’hys said he has an idea of how things might be able to work out, but he has to speak to Rha..Rhae..?…the Weyrwoman first.
I will miss my family—well, some of them. I will miss Alekse. How I wish he'd been there when I slid down off of Edath! Thank the Dawn Sisters that I have Rudi. Alekse is only a note away with him. And Meri, the sweet girl. I’ll miss her, too. She will be a good station manager. She had my bag packed for me within minutes of my declaration of being a candidate, and she had the warmest smile and gives the best hugs. Mother cried, but part of me thinks she is just relieved that I am gone and no longer tainting the station with my singleness or by practicing the craft intended for men. She really didn’t know how to work with me…father was the one who was upset. He turned such a fierce shade of red that his face could have been mistaken for the Red Star of old…If D’hys and R’dal hadn’t been there, I think he might have locked me away. Nah, I would have outpaced him. He’s not much of a sprinter anymore and his endurance wanes quickly now, and even though he won’t admit it, he’s far less sure-footed than his younger turns. No, I’d have gotten away. That poor holder boy was still there, too. I do feel bad for him. He was only looking for a good little wife to come home to after his fishing trips. Perhaps he can find a girl at the next Gather.
I should try to sleep. It’s been a very long day that feels like it’s lasted a lifetime…sleep will be good for me. I know hope I don’t wake to find this was all a dream…
