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+--- Thread: [G] [P] 742.02.14 | Speed Friending (/showthread.php?tid=4837)
742.02.14 | Speed Friending - F'drel - 14.Feb.21
F’drel had barely finished giving Quinvalis—N’lis—a quick congratulations on Impressing when he felt the increasingly familiar sensations from Halomirth that meant he should be making his way to a private room as quickly as possible. At least the Hatching was over properly and most people had left already; F’drel had hung back to see N’lis, wanting to make sure he had enough time with his mother and, unfortunately, the Fort Weyrleader, before F’drel even attempted to show himself. He’d kept it brief, not wanting to distract N’lis from Dalsuth, knowing well how much of N’lis’ attention the hatchling needed. Halomirth had at least waited long enough for the congratulations.
’Alright, Miri, alright,’ F’drel sighed at her, feeling with more clarity than usual the way she nuzzled into Edath. ’You going to let him catch you this time?’
Dunno, she said thoughtfully, twining her neck around him. Might.
F’drel sighed again and walked a bit faster. In the three Turns Halomirth had been Flying, F’drel had gotten better at keeping her on the ground long enough for him to get situated—at least some of the time. He hated having to borrow R’dal’s weyr for flights, but it kept happening and R’dal’s weyr was better than a random storeroom. He ended up arriving before R’dal, who must have been congratulating a new Weyrling or consoling a Candidate who he’d Searched or something. F’drel wasn’t sure if that was a relief or not.
Once he felt as ready as he was going to be, F’drel sat on the edge of R’dal’s bed and gave Halomirth the mental go-ahead, to which Halomirth shrieked in delight and launched herself into the sky.
Coming back to himself was, as usual, a very slow process. He was warm, somewhere comfortable, and not particularly in pain, which made collecting his thoughts even harder. Eventually he’d gathered them enough to determine who Miri had chosen to be her newest favorite blue.
’He’s barely a year old.’ F’drel made a face into the pillow—R’dal’s pillow—at Casnovath snuggled tightly with Halomirth.
He chased me, Halomirth said sleepily. He’s nice. He says his rider needs help making friends.
F’drel groaned softly. Of course. Halomirth was always trying to help him make friends, it made perfect since she’d want to help another dragon do the same for his rider. The fact he happened to be a nice young blue was a bonus for her. F’drel just had to deal with it.
He planned to deal with it later, when his brain was in better working order and his highest instincts weren’t “cuddle” and “bury your face into him,” courtesy of Halomirth. Unfortunately, Casnovath’s rider—D’nei, Halomirth offered—made a noise and ruined that plan.
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - D'nei - 14.Feb.21
What was happening? Where was he? D'nei groaned, feeling stiff and sore as if from some new workout program he'd tried. Only he was naked, and there was someone in bed with him, and he felt so incredibly wrong. His pulse began to race, he felt cold and numb at the same time he felt hot and bothered. What was his dick even doing?! He choked back a gasp as he tried to scurry away from the other man, he didn't even recognize him!
That's just Halomirth's rider, F'drel. He's nice. Though maybe not as nice as this lovely. Casnovath gave the gorgeous green another gentle nuzzle before burying his nose against her. He was determined to lavish all of the affection he could against this living jewel because that was what she deserved. It was enough to make D'nei turn back to the other man in bed with him, burying his own face as he tried to curl up as defensively as he could and choked out a sob. This wasn't him and it was so profoundly wrong and there was nothing he could do.
The dragon was partially startled out of his revelry at the immense wave of discomfort from his rider and Cassie twitched his tail anxiously as he lifted his head, turning it in the direction he knew D'nei was in. Shh... I have you, you're safe. I'm here. Would it help to blame me? I think we did okay enough for our first time though if that helps.
It absolutely did not help, and the only thing that was keeping D'nei there right now was the fact that if he kept his face pressed against something no one could see just how distraught he was. Cassie's eyes swirled with worry and he gave Halomirth another affectionate nuzzle, none of this was her fault after all, before trying a different tactic. Breathe. You are beginning to scare everyone. In and Out, it's done, I'm just cuddling now. You like cuddling remember? And massages? Maybe if you offered F'drel a massage it will help and perhaps he'll give you one in return. But right now, just count and breathe with me.
"Sorry," D'nei managed to choke out, tears still leaking out of his eyes. The calmer he had become the more aware he was of how embarrassing this situation probably was. He was a dragonrider, on a blue. He should have been happy for Cassie and unbothered by all of this. They'd had classes on this exact topic! D'nei hiccupped another sob before taking another soothing breath. "Sorry. I'm fine. It's my fault. I can... I don't know. Cassie is suggesting I give you a massage to calm down. I'll understand if you don't want one. Sorry. I just... sorry."
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - F'drel - 15.Feb.21
Right, F’drel thought as D’nei startled. Casnovath was very young, which meant this was almost certainly D’nai’s first Flight experience with a dragon. F’drel had no idea if he’d Flight mothed before Impression or not, but everyone said the experience was very different (F’drel had no personal experience for comparison). From his reaction, F’drel was guessing he hadn’t.
The sob was another good clue, and had F’drel immediately sitting up in concern as D’nei buried his face into R’dal’s mattress. Halomirth started to uncurl until Casnovath reassured her and she settled back down, though her eyes still whirled slightly. F’drel was frozen between asking what D’nei needed and just quietly slipping onto R’dal’s ledge so he could collect himself alone. He was saved from having to choose by D’nei speaking. D’nei was still obviously crying, but speaking was good, right?
F’drel wasn’t sure he liked the words though.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Flights are...a lot.” He didn’t reach out, not yet, not sure if touch would help D’nei or not. He offered a massage, so it perhaps wasn’t totally unwanted, but that would be D’nei touching F’drel, not F’drel touching D’nei without warning. Well, he could give warning, but still.
“Do you think that will help you?” F’drel wasn’t thrilled at the idea of a stranger massaging him but he could cling to Halomirth’s sleepy content long enough to keep from stressing too much about it. “I’m not opposed if it will help you calm down, but if something else is better, we can do that.”
F’drel wanted to give him whatever he needed to help deal with it. Flights sucked, and while F’drel was starting to get used to them they were never truly pleasant for him. He hated to say nice things about D’hys, but the bluerider had mostly just let F’drel do whatever he wanted and not demanded anything of him. It would have been so, so easy for him to demand anything he wanted from F’drel, and F’drel would have given it. Even without the post-Flight fuzziness. But he didn’t, he’d demanded nothing, really, and F’drel knew he could have had a much, much worse first Flight.
D’nei may be a bluerider and not a greenrider, but F’drel wasn’t going to try to make a first Flight worse even so.
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - D'nei - 15.Feb.21
D'nei hiccupped through another sob as he took a shaky breath. Would it help? He didn't know. He wasn't sure why Cassie thought it would, maybe his dragon was just grasping at straws and tossing anything out just so he could have his precious cuddle time with some green. No, no! I know you like touching even if you don't like the other stuff! Just take a few more breaths, try talking to him. I will be right here, I am not going anywhere. To punctuate the point he gave Halomirth another gentle and reassuring nuzzle, because he didn't want her to feel like this was her fault either and he wanted to try to help feed as much of his own contentment to his rider as he could.
After another shaky breath, D'nei realized that he hadn't answered the other man's question and he grimaced, apologizing again. "Sorry... I'm handling this terribly and it's not your fault that it's wrong." He cringed again, sure that F'drel would likely take that as some sort of insult. "Not wrong for you... nevermind." He heard Casnovath starting to count again in his head and he tried taking a few more breaths as he tried to pretend that nothing had happened. Maybe if he could focus on talking he could ignore how wrong it felt that his dick was still uncomfortably hard. "I don't know what would help. I hate this. This... this was never anything I was interested in and now I can't get my body to do anything normal and... I did things and I just-"
He stifled another sob with a frustrated growl, hating how awful he felt and the fact that he was putting this all on display in front of a stranger. D'nei tried to focus on his breathing again, tried to stop fighting Casnovath's attempts to help him calm down. After a few more moments that felt entirely too long he meekly said with his face still muffled and hidden, "You must think I'm an idiot."
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - F'drel - 16.Feb.21
“I don’t think you’re an idiot.” F’drel paused, to let the words sink in, maybe, before saying anything more. “Flights are—an unpleasant necessity of being a dragonrider, in my experience. It’s not unusual to not like it, or be overwhelmed.” More for greenriders, generally, but F’drel had the sense there was more to D’nei’s reaction here than getting tossed around by a winner. Considering, clearly, he hadn’t been tossed around by a winner, since he was the winner, and F’drel knew he didn’t do much tossing in Flights and didn’t feel terribly tossed himself.
“I don’t know if this will help you at all, but I try to think of it as...as not me, doing anything. It’s Halomirth. I’m not there, mentally, so I’m not doing—things.” F’drel made a face, even though D’nei wasn’t looking. “It sometimes helps, a little. Sometimes.”
F’drel sighed loudly, frustrated with himself. “I don’t know anything reassuring to say, I’m sorry. Like, I get it, I think, at least somewhat. I’ve never genuinely wanted to have sex in my life, I don’t think, but it still happens fairly regularly.” Halomirth earned him a few rounds a Turn, and then there was the precarious ‘relationship’ he had with D’hys. Which was more than he wanted, but he allowed all of it. Halomirth deserved to have her fun, and F’drel wanted her to be happy. Seeing D’hys periodically was astronomically stressful but also had a very practical purpose, so it was worth the temporary discomfort.
He sighed again. “Telling you that you’ll get used to it seems tasteless, but it’s what happened to me. Or I got numb to it, at least. Easier to compartmentalize and just go along with things.” None of this was anything F’drel had talked about before—he couldn’t dump it on a sibling, or R’dal, and he didn’t trust anyone else enough with that kind of personal information—but he didn’t know what else to do, and maybe some of it, any of it, would make D’nei less miserable. If anyone should be crying after a Flight it should be him, the winner crying and panicky set off every single one of his older brother instincts.
“Sorry,” he said for good measure, apologizing for not having anything truly helpful to say.
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - D'nei - 16.Feb.21
There was some comfort in that, D'nei supposed as he kept trying to focus on his breathing. It did help to think that this wasn't him, it had just been Casnovath doing... it and just taking him along for the ride. Though it was odd to hear that F'drel also never wanted to have sex. He'd thought something was wrong with him in a way, that he'd grow out of it or something, or just wasn't doing something right. And maybe if he could figure out some secret it wouldn't seem so incredibly wrong. Or feel so wrong now that he'd given it a try first hand. Not that he could remember most of it anyway, and he considered that a small blessing in itself.
Though if F'drel also didn't like this sort of thing then... D'nei let out a long sigh, managing not to groan. "Now I feel like an ass for not thinking you'd be bothered by this too... since you're... never mind." He didn't want to point out the obvious, that the man was a greenrider and there were assumptions about greenriders. Then again there were assumptions about blues as well. D'nei cringed at the thought of doing this again and potentially making a fool of himself.
You're not making a fool of yourself. You're even making a friend! D'nei was not sure he agreed with Casnovath's assessment but he could at least stop hiding. With a grunt he pushed himself up to sit at least, one hand rubbing at his eyes while the other quickly grabbed a bit of blanket to cover himself as he turned a shade red in embarrassment. "I still feel wrong, and I don't know how to make that better. But thank you for talking to me. And I'm sorry for this. Maybe I'll just... get numb too. Numb has to be better than wrong, right? Or at least better than panicking and upsetting people or Cassie."
He could at least get dressed. D'nei started to look around for his clothes while he did his best to not make eye contact with F'drel. I didn't hurt him at all did I? He felt Cassie scoff as he gave Halomirth a gentle nuzzle. Of course not. Only the most passionately affectionate and loving time for prizes. He wasn't sure he liked how that sounded at all, but he supposed it was something. He cleared his throat as he surveyed the messy state of the weyr, glancing very briefly over at F'drel as he asked, "Did you want me to help clean or anything? I don't know what normally happens after these things."
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - F'drel - 04.Mar.21
F’drel snorted at D’nei’s realization that he might not be the only one less than pleased about a Flight, though he supposed he could give him some slack, he was terribly overwhelmed at still seemed rather dazed. It was understandable, but the truth of the situation might make him feel better.
“Even greenriders who like sex don’t always like Flights,” he said. “Depends on the green, the dragon who catches her, and that dragon’s rider in addition to however we feel about sex. For example, you didn’t dislocate my shoulder, so that makes Casnovath a better winner than some other dragons.” Not something that had happened to him before, but he knew people who had dealt with that and other Flight injuries.
The fact D’nei could sit up now was promising. F’drel carefully and pointedly looked away while D’nei situated the blanket over himself and then began finding his clothes. “I wouldn’t say numb is better, necessarily, but it’s certainly easier,” he said. Being numb worked, but it still required a lot of compartmentalization and intentional refusal to address a lot of things.
“You don’t have to,” F’drel said, shaking his head. “I’d recommend a bath, a private one if you can manage it. I’ll have help cleaning even if you don’t stay, so don’t feel obligated.” R’dal was probably chomping at the bit right outside the door, just waiting to try speed cleaning his entire weyr before F’drel could. He didn’t seem to quite understand that the point wasn’t the end state of a clean weyr, but the process of cleaning, but F’drel was too fond of his attempts to really try to dissuade him.
RE: 742.02.14 | Speed Friending - D'nei - 04.Mar.21
"Dis... that can really happen? I thought that was just... spooky stories they told in class." D'nei paused with his pants halfway up his thighs, momentarily nauseous from the thought. Thankfully he hadn't done anything so terrible, and more importantly, Casnovath didn't seem inclined to put him in the sort of state that would result in such injuries... he hoped. The blue was still happy as a clam, proud of his victory, and glad that his rider was starting to calm down.
With a shake of his head to further clear it he finished pulling up his pants so that he could find his shirt. D'nei still felt like he should do something. "Um... I can still help clean... or still do a massage. I really don't mind doing those." He wasn't sure if the gesture would be appreciated or wanted, and part of him really wanted to just go try F'drel's suggestion of taking a bath. A long soak and a lot of scrubbing might make him feel more like himself.
Still, he worried about potentially insulting his... host? D'nei certainly wasn't in his own weyr, though he wasn't sure that was the proper term. It was the little things like this that he found his education had lacked in and he frowned as he looked around at the state of the room. He honestly wasn't sure at this point if staying to help would actually be more beneficial than leaving to get out of the way. "Um... should I try to send Casnovath away or is he fine to stay a while longer at least?"