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+--- Thread: [G] [C] 740.11.18 | Between One Place and the Next (/showthread.php?tid=4572)
740.11.18 | Between One Place and the Next - N'reh - 07.Dec.19
Sunset didn’t come as early in Ista as it did in Telgar in the winter months. Nerreh had gotten used to the sun being gone over an hour earlier by this time of the turn, though he hadn’t lived in Telgar all that long, comparatively, and in Katila the sun set closer to when it did at Ista. He should find the time of Istan sunset more familiar, but the earlier Telgar sunsets had become his norm in such a short period of time. Odd. Nerreh figured Fort sunsets would be much the same as Ista ones - it wasn’t a whole lot further north, though being in the mountains did make it colder than Ista. If R’nya ever fucking approved Nerreh’s transfer request; maybe someday he’d get a definitive answer on the subject.
I think I’d like if it got dark earlier, Faxxonth mused, curling around his rider as they watched the sun go down from their weyr, gently drawing Nerreh’s thoughts away from Fort and transfers. Nighttime is nice.
“Your night vision is shit, though,” Nerreh pointed out. Faxxonth huffed dismissively.
So? I don’t have to see perfectly to like it. Nerreh shrugged.
“I suppose you’re right. I like night too, I think. Less people, and it’s quieter. Besides, you can get away with more ‘cause there’s no one around to get you in trouble.”
That would be the call for you, N’reh, Faxxonth snorted. Nerreh grinned and gave the dragon’s shoulder a pat. Then he paused.
“Why do you call me that?” Nerreh asked suddenly. Faxxonth blinked.
N’reh? It’s your name.
“But it isn’t! Only men get honorifics these days, and I’m… something else…” he trailed off, wrapping his arms around his knees and pulling them to his chest. Faxxonth leaned in to brush his nose against his rider’s shoulder.
That wasn’t decided by dragons, that was decided by riders. You’re my rider, and I named you. N’reh. Nerreh curled tighter around himself.
“Why are you only saying it now, then?” he asked, voice choked up more than he wanted to admit.
I’ve always been saying it, you just weren’t listening, Faxxonth said softly. Nerreh looked up at him, thinking. ‘Nerreh’ and ‘N’reh’ sounded almost identical, really - just a little more breath where the ‘e’ should be when Faxx said it. Could he really be blamed for missing it, especially since he wasn’t supposed to get one?
You saw me as green too, so is it really surprising you would miss the name as well? Nerreh pouted at his dragon. There was something about getting the color of his own dragon wrong that was deeply embarrassing sometimes. Honestly, what kind of idiot missed that sort of thing?
I didn’t exactly try to correct you, did I? I looked green enough, and you were being… well, you thought me being green was more likely than blue - you need to think more highly of yourself, you know - and I thought being green might be fun, so I encouraged it. I sometimes wish I’d stayed more green, he said with a sigh, letting his head rest on the stone of the ledge with a heavy thump. I liked being green. Being blue has usually been more trouble than anything. Faxxonth swept his tail along the ledge, as if to emphasize the trouble of being blue. Everyone’s less likely to call you a girl now, so it’s worth it. Nerreh nodded, quietly acknowledging it. He wasn’t sure why, but between Casa and the rest of the Katila ‘brats and Faxx’s blueness somehow - he didn’t know, making Nerreh being a man make more sense? - there weren’t that many people who seemed to think of him as a girl anymore. Mostly people who’d known him fairly well growing up. Nerreh’s mother and grandfather still called him ‘she,’ after all. Whatever. They were family, what could he even expect. Nerreh sighed, deciding to save moping about his family still thinking of him as their little girl for another time, then froze, suddenly realizing something.
“Wait, do people not notice I haven’t used an honorific? Or do they just hear it as one, since it’s so close sounding anyway?”
Don’t know. Though I’ve always called you N’reh, so if any dragon gets your name from me, that’s what they’ve heard and passed on. Nerreh started.
“Really?” Faxxonth nodded. “Huh. I never really noticed…”
That’s because your observational skills are severely lacking, Faxxonth said dryly. Nerreh lightly elbowed him in the side. Faxx chirped in amusement.
“I’m very observational… good at observing… whatever,” Nerreh grumbled, Faxxonth pretending to try to hide his snort. “I am!” he insisted, poking Faxx, “For example, I’ve noticed you get all mopey when anyone mentions how you used to be thought of as green. Spill, I know something’s up.” He frowned up at Faxxonth, concern plain on his face. It was unlikely anyone else had noticed it - not that there were many people they spent enough time with to even possibly notice it - but Nerreh could tell something was off. Faxxonth just seemed quieter when the topic of his former green status came up. And if they were talking about deep shit anyway, Nerreh might as well get his dragon to talk about what was bothering him.
Faxxonth sighed. It’s like I said, I liked being green. And after I became blue everything got so much more complicated. More people liked me as green. Not that they matter, and I don’t hate being blue, it’s just different. I don’t know. Feelings don’t make sense.
“Don’t I know it, kiddo,” Nerreh mumbled. Feelings made no fucking sense. If they did he’d probably be content as a young woman and not have his heart skip in elation everytime someone referred to him as a man - well, boy, usually, Nerreh looked a bit younger than he actually was when seen as a boy, but whatever. Still ‘male.’ But he and Faxxonth still lived this complicated charade that felt more real than the alternative - Nerreh hated everything about himself a little less, at least (outside of the whole ‘Thally’s Clutch’ thing, but that was better ignored whenever possible). It didn’t make sense that telling the world he was male, referring to himself as such, felt like the truth even if his body (stupid thing) said otherwise, but that was the world Nerreh - N’reh - lived in. So what if he had a blue dragon who sometimes wanted to be greener? It was no weirder than he himself was.
“I’m not sure what else to do, Faxx. I mean, I don’t think you’re gonna convince anyone you’re green these days,” Nerreh said, running a hand over Faxxonth’s midnight blue hide; Nothing at all like the blue-green of his weyrling days. “I can call you ‘she’ sometimes if you think that might help? Like how you call me N’reh. I can write it off as habit easily enough,” he offered, the stroking of Faxxonth’s side turning into gentle scratching. Faxxonth hummed, thinking.
I don’t know. I suppose we could try it, the blue said, unsure. Nerreh could tell Faxx wasn’t convinced it would solve the problem, but Nerreh didn’t have any better ideas. Going back in time and warning themselves off chasing any golds was impossible, and it wasn’t like it could make things any worse.
“We’re a little fucked up, aren’t we?” Nerreh said, a laugh escaping with the words. Faxxonth hummed again.
I don’t think it’s a bad fucked up.
“Not usually, anyway.” Nerreh said with a wry grin.
Less than half the time for sure, Faxxonth said in agreement.