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+--- Thread: [G] [C] [EVENT] 739.05.14 | Lost (/showthread.php?tid=4034)
739.05.14 | Lost - Jajojin - 16.May.18
“Denath! I can’t find her! Where is she?” J’jin was frantic as he tore through the living room again, lifting pillows to check behind, as if his daughter would really be hiding behind one. He had lost her, though, and had to find her again before her mother came back to collect her from their visit. Elmadira would never let him see their baby girl again if this was how a visit went! Not like there would be another visit if he couldn’t find her.
J’jin tilted the couch on its side to check under and behind it then moved on to the chairs, giving them the same treatment. He knew he was being ridiculous. The girl was nearly five now. She wouldn’t be hiding in small spaces, but he was panicked and had to find her before her mother returned. The kitchen cupboards were checked next and still no sign of his Madiquel.
“Denath, she didn’t go out to your ledge, did she?” The mere thought of the child dancing around the edge that would send her to a certain death had the bronzerider running through his weyr and out to the ledge… that didn’t exist.
J’jin gasped as the sunlight hit him, a hand going up to shield his face as he glanced his surroundings. He wasn’t in an upper level weyr but on the ground. How did that make any sense? No wonder he couldn’t find his daughter; he wasn’t at his home! But where was he then? He stumbled back inside, more confused now than worried; at least he was until he saw the sign that had Madiquel’s name on it, marking the entrance to her room. He ran his fingers gently over the carved letters, smiling at the flower that was painted on it. It was made with love, he could tell. Who had made it again? Right, Ayontay. He was a good kid, knew better than to try anything with his sweet girl.
J’jin frowned and grabbed at his head with one hand and stumbled against the wall, bracing himself with his free hand. He was in his own home, which he shared with Madiquel. That much was certain. He groaned and scrunched his eyes shut, trying to find the truth hidden in the mud that was his mind.
Mud.
The landslide.
Denath.
Elmadira.
Even his name.
Everything was gone.
Jajojin gave a shout of denial, mentally calling to his dragon and then out loud, finding no reply either time. A sobbing guttural wail sounded deep within and he made his way into Madiquel’s room where he sank to his knees at the side of her bed. But where was his baby girl? He knew now that he was in Fort Weyr, turns after the landslide that left him one of the ex-riders that often received looks of pity.
Madiquel… Madiquel… where had she gone? She wouldn’t leave her papa, would she?
Jajojin felt the tears sliding down his face as he leaned forward, resting his head on the bed. He remembered. She was at Ista Weyr for a birthday. It had been his idea that she stay until the upcoming Hatching to see if any of her friends Impressed. He hated the idea of her travelling between too often, increasing the chance that something might go wrong and he would lose her forever.
It already felt like forever since she left and Jajojin’s mind was clear enough now to know it had only been three days. He wanted to see her smile again. Hear her sweet laughter. Be dragged around the room while she excitedly babbled about something. He missed her.
He needed her.
Madiquel was all he had left after that horrible night. She was the reason he stopped trying to kill himself to be with Denath again. She gave him a reason to live and to smile again. She was his sanity and he felt it slipping away much easier with her so far away.
How could he be of any use to anyone in this condition? He had to find a way, though. As much as he loved his daughter, Jajojin knew he couldn’t keep her beside him forever. The girl would become a woman one day and no longer need him as her protector as she fell in love and lived her own life. The idea was too much for his mind to handle right then, and Jajojin shifted until he was lying on the floor, curled up on his side, staring at the wall.
He didn’t want to lose her, but knew he’d have to let her go one day. A day far into the future he hoped. But, he’d have to learn to function without her before then. Madiquel would never leave on a small trip again if she knew the mess he was left as, and while that slightly appealed to him, Jajojin couldn’t do that to her.
He needed a nap first, to shake off the lingering memories of Denath and the fear that had rattled him to the core about losing Madiquel to the unknown. Then, perhaps, a lot of alcohol to kill off anything else that remained. Then, he needed to learn to smile again before his daughter came home.