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[D] How many hopes and dreams are trapped within these bones? - Printable Version

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+---- Thread: [D] How many hopes and dreams are trapped within these bones? (/showthread.php?tid=3144)



How many hopes and dreams are trapped within these bones? - Kahleena - 27.Oct.16

It shouldn't be possible to be this sad.

It feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest - am I being dramatic? I know I'm not shy girl anymore but I am also sure that I can't carry on...

Although I've run out of tears. I didn't know that was even possible.

Of course, I wouldn't have said a giant green dragon coming to steal me away from my home was possible either & yet that happened all the same.

Why?

I've asked this before and I still don't have any answers. The people at this, this Weyr insist it is important. Vital even if you can believe it? I don't. I can't accept what they are saying is the whole and complete truth. Especially as everything else...

No, I don't trust them.

Yet...

I had a dream last night or perhaps a memory would be more accurate. I was sat with my sister and we were listening to a Harper, it was an old story and it mentioned Thread - horrifying, destructive and the only defense available in the form to of the dragons and their riders. I remembered it vividly this morning - all day actually and it meant I got punished for not paying proper attention to the chores I was assigned.

Am I wrong? Is there some good in these people? I know my mother would have once said no one is ever wholly evil or bad but she never had to deal with a situation like this one.

I've realized I don't know what to do...



Re: How many hopes and dreams are trapped within these bones? - Kahleena - 27.Oct.16

I've made friends!

Even writing it down doesn't make it seem more real, more true but it is. One of them is another who was taken away from her home as well. She seems quieter than me but also more accepting of the whole business as well. Even if I'm not...

Who cares? hmm?

All I really know is that I'm able to forget, able to find myself happy again. It is a small thing; really it is. Even if I'm not sure that it even makes sense. I feel guilty at times but I won't forget how kind she has been to me or how much fun I end up having when its the three of us.

Although...

How I ended up calling a rider a friend is beyond me!

I was so angry! I still am really. But now I'm trying to understand a little more and be a little more accepting about everything that has happened. It was wrong to be so upset with everyone - although I'll never be happy about being taken in the first place. However, being able to forget and be a little wild and mischievous is a boon I never expected.

I've so much to be thankful for in terms of my good fortune to find friends like this.

Farnath knows I need them right now.



Re: How many hopes and dreams are trapped within these bones? - Kahleena - 27.Oct.16

Rhaedalyn has been avoiding me.

I don't even know why or perhaps I don't want to think about it.

After all, I'm no longer alone in my head anymore...if I'm honest that is the most wonderfully frightening thing that has happened to me since I've come here. I'd given up believing I'd Impress any of these dragons and then suddenly there was the voice in my head.

Okalinath that is her name and she is amazing.

Still, I want to share this with Rhaedalyn and I can't. I went to speak with her this morning and she blanked me for a solid minute before saying she was busy and to come back later. I think...

I want things to be the same but perhaps Okalinath changes it all. Do I want that?

It's taken me so long to finally come to an understanding and accept some kind of place here at Katila and I'm afraid of what all of this is going to mean for me and those I care most about. At least I can hope that Rhaedalyn will come around - right?

I don't want to go back to crying myself to sleep each night.